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Friday, August 26, 2005 Some days......just make you cry.
Thursday, August 25, 2005 Today......is the big day. Today I turn 29. Again. I wonder what 30 will feel like. Some day I'll find out. But not today.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005 Ups and downsIn two days I will be officially old, especially in gay terms/society. Work is blowing chunks in new ways. How have I kept from killing someone thus far? The secret is flying. No, I'm not jumping into a phone booth to don cape and tights. It's about kites. Though the wind has been a bit lax of late and has prevented me from getting aloft often or for long, I have had some great experiences. Yesterday Linus and I had a great deal of time aloft. I managed to fly both of my kites, thanks to an upswing in the wind speed later in the evening. I also managed to break one of my kites, though not irreparably so. A new leading edge stick, some repair tape on the fabric, and all should be well again for the Fanatic. Despite the damaged baby, flying was great last night, though the winds were STRANGE: choppy, gusty, shifty. I find that flying relaxes me...makes me focus on something other than work, the fact that I STILL haven't mowed the lawn, or that I'm about to be stomped on at the beginning of semester. It gives me a sense of near athletic abilty. I can be graceful with a kite. It's something tangible. Something I can control. Today's lesson: find something that relaxes or enthralls you. Spend time with it. Escaping isn't good ALL the time, but it's a healthy to do so once in a while. Inside, outside...doesn't matter. Just pull back away for the briefest of moments. You'll find it helps you cope with the stress in the long run.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005 A happy thoughtToday the Executive Board of Spectrum received an email. I wanted to share it with you, as I know I really needed a happy thought for the day. I give it to you as written, spelling errors and all: i have seen the HBO special about matt and it has changed my opinion on many things. I myself once gave the gays at school a hard time, i have now tried to make it up to them, when asked why ihave changed i said because of matt. They then asked who he was and i said they should read his story for themselves. I thank matt for showing me in his own way how i was wrong. I am currently a senior in highschool sincerly, Jason
Thursday, August 11, 2005 It's that time of year againYou know the one...where students are about to come back to school and my job becomes abnormally painful. So here is the standard and blanket disclaimer: For the next 2 months, I will likely be tired, cranky, overly emotional, and fire-breathing BITCH. I do apologize in advance if I accidentally take off your head, jump down your throat, or slight you by a disinterest in doing what you dream up. I am already putting far more than the usual 40 hour weeks, and it will only get worse as the semester gets closer. I do still love you all, and want to spend time with you. Just know that when I say no, it might be because I'm too tired, or because I know I am in far too foul a mood to be in the presence of others. I'd rather be reclusive than hang out when I am almost certain to say something I regret. That being said, there will no doubt be occasions when I NEED to drink heavily, call Hope, or otherwise be social before I find a belltower with a high powered weapon. ;) Contributions to my deliquency during these times is greatly appreciated. My friends always do their best to keep me (in)sane during this time of year, and I love you all for it. Love you more than my luggage!
Friday, August 05, 2005 Another little something I did...Since Snakehead nudged, I managed to dash out another image. Deliberately unfinished, as I'm experimenting a bit with different styles. 
Tuesday, August 02, 2005 No sense at allThat's what my mom used to say about people standing out in the rain. While I see her point, sometimes it's nice to be a bit foolish. On Sunday we had a nice torrential downpour in West Laramie. Something came over me. I decided I needed to be standing in the rain...so I did. I was having a day of housework, so I was wearing a sarong. I stepped out onto the back deck and let the chilled rain wash over me. It didn't take long before my hair was wet like I had recently had a shower. The puppies stayed just inside the house, looking at me as though I was daft. Perhaps I was, but it felt very good to play in the rain. I felt a connection back to nature. And back to myself. I felt like I was releasing my inner child, who didn't have enough sense to stay in out of the rain. It's not every day we can be warm enough in the rain here in Laramie. I'm not claiming it was a nice warm rain, but it was a refreshing one at least. And so the missive for today is to do something kid-like. Roll down a hill, point out the shapes of clouds for hours, eat your dessert first, go rollerskating...do something just for the fun of it! You'll be surprised how good it can feel, even if the rain could be a bit warmer at 7200 feet.
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links Matthew Shepard Foundation 
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