Time for a gay weekend

I've had it. I'm sick of work. I'm sick of Laramie. So against my better judgement (translation: financial situation) I'm evacuating town this weekend for a gay getaway. Cory and I will be driving south, listening to the Rent soundtrack over and over. While Georgina (my car) is getting an oil change, we will be having the soup, salad, and breadstick lunch at The Olive Garden in Fort Collins. From there, it's on to Denver! We'll be staying at Jerry's condo in Englewood. He's already putting a bucket of margaritas in the freezer for our arrival. We shall find fabulous food somewhere in Denver before heading to the Mayan Theater for Brokeback Mountain - nominated for 7 Golden Globes. We're meeting up with a small contingent from Laramie including Keith and Khristian for the show. Tickets have already been purchased, and a good thing too. The Mayan is the only theater in Denver showing the film, and rumor has it that it's sold out on both screens Saturday night. After what promises to be a FANTASTIC movie, we will head out to Tracks, one of the gay dance clubs, for a night of cutting loose! Brunch on Sunday, no doubt. Jess is puppy-sitting, and has therefore made this regeneration break possible. Shout out, Babe!

I leave you with a short interview with Annie Proulx, author of the original short story, Brokeback Mountain. It's good. Read it, bitches:
http://365gay.com/entertainment/special/specialreports/121605special.htm

Sibling Rivalry

My sister just turned 29 on Friday. She made the mistake of logging in this morning. Brothers and sisters are supposed to make each other crazy now and then. Sometimes, they also have fun. Happy Birthday Sis!

J: Heh. You're old.
S: hehe, younger than you. I'm not 30 yet. nananana!
J: Not by much. I refuse to turn 30, so I'll be having my third annual 29th birthday next time. Before long, I’ll be younger than you!
S: What if I refuse to turn 30? Then I'll be 29, but still fewer times than you, so I'm still younger.
J: Nope. Moms can't not turn 30. It's the law. Especially in communist countries. I saw it on Jeopardy.
S: That shows what you know! Moms with gay brothers are exempt from that
J: Not if it makes them younger than said gay brother. We have to be the youngest and prettiest.
S: well, then you are losing anyway...I'm the prettiest one. That's why mom liked me best.
J: *laugh* See...now you're just talking crazy talk. Moms always like the gay boys best.
S: you're in denial...they only PRETEND to like them better because the gay boys are so sensitive...moms don't want to hurt their feelings
J: Girl...moms know we can kick a little ass and whip out a little 'tude. We're like best gal pals.
S: ah, but you are the "high maintenance" best friend that's really only superficial...great to go shopping with, but not who you call for real stuff
J: Shopping, cocktails, and girl talk. What's more real than that?!
S: Um...reality.
J: Oh honey....reality is just that stuff on TV. Shows like "Big Gay Brother," "American Idolatry," and "Survive Me." (I'm having so much fun channeling Karen Walker!)
S: But honey, Karen has way nicer boobs!
J: You haven't seen pictures of the drag show yet. 52DD. Who needs a purse when you have cleavage from hell?
S: And you found that size...where?

No Day But Today

Sometimes I am a walking stereotype. I freely admit that I love Broadway and show tunes. It will come as no shock to those who know me that I went to see Rent for the third time last night. Spectrum, the queer student group I advise, went to see the show as a group. We ended up having a sing along in the theater. There were few other people in the theater, we were bigger and meaner, and we actually had some talent...so we decided to go for it. It was nothing short of magical. Each time I see it, the recurring themes come back to me...stronger than before. Love fiercely. Live each day as if it is your last. These are the easy ones.

The name of the play "Rent" doesn't just refer to paying the bills. It's also about people's lives and groups of friends being torn into pieces...being rent apart. And bringing them back together. The drag queen character, Angel, teaches everyone to value love and friendship. To be yourself. To be unabashedly and unapologetically unique. To give freely of your heart, your time, and your worldly goods..."Today for you, tomorrow for me."

We should each be reminded of these things, and often. So in true gay show tune fashion, I leave you with your homework, in the form of a song:

There's only us
There's only this...
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today

The Pope is a Spin Doctor

My office aide was watching segments of the Today Show recently. The Catholic church has recently "lightened up" on its stance regarding unbaptized babies and limbo. I realize that limbo is not official church doctrine. What was funny to me, though not shocking at all, was that an official from the Catholic Church went on national TV and said that the Pope had asked their committee to re-examine the issue and put a more "positive spin" on it. The fact that any church changes positions on an issue or theological interpretation is not shocking. Most of my Catholic friends said "Don't you think we KNOW the church shifts on issues?" Of course! But now they're publicly admitting it on national TV.

In short, it's okay for the church to change it's mind. But not on the whole gay thing, of course. ;)

Rollercoasters

I've spent the week with ups and downs, to be sure. It's been a long semester for me, and I know I'm not the only one. Work involves stress and drama. I spent a fair amount of time today trying to find the new Rent soundtrack...which is apparently not available in Laramie. Thank goodness for Amazon.

But a funny thing happened as I scoured the stores of Laramie. While in K-Mart, I ran into my old mentor teacher and her husband. I hadn't seen her since I did Romeo's soliloquy for her 9th grade classes. She asked me how I was doing and what was new. My answer surprised me.

I didn't tell her about work. I told her that I had a chapter in a diversity textbook that will be published before long. I told her that I have my second paid speaking gig coming up. I told her that I connected with the Safe and Drug-Free Schools coordinator in Cheyenne, and that she wants me to come do SafeZone trainings all over the Laramie County School District. I told her that I was doing what I had dreamed of, what she helped me realize I wanted, that I was making it happen. Slowly but surely. It wasn't until I was done telling her, and seeing her face light up, that I realized it was true.

Despite all the stress, the frustration, the single-ness, the feeling old...I am doing good things and working towards what I want. It made me stop and smile, despite Laramie's lack of taste in soundtracks, spending too much money on the payday shopping trip, and the freezing cold weather. So I want everyone to stop for a moment and take stock in what you're doing. I know most of my regular readers, and know that you're doing the same thing. It's finals time here at UW, and that means a lot of stress. So pause and remember that you are working toward something. It's not all in vain. Hang in there, and remember to give yourself credit. As long as you're moving forward, you're moving. The rest is details.

I already sent this to some of you via email, but thought I would share with all. You should watch this video, but you must do it with sound. This is what happens when you double major in music and electrical engineering...and have WAY too much time on your hands before the holidays.

http://members.cox.net/transam57/lights.wmv

I am thankful...

...for each of you. You are all an important part of my life. You are my family. So thank you for being you.

I'm still here

Not to worry, I am still alive and kicking. Since my last post, I have been to Monterey, California for a conference, been down with a nasty head cold, and logged WAY too many hours of karaoke for my own good. Oh, and I actually put together a professional website. So check out www.biggayjim.com if you're looking for a taste of my gayness. That'll tide you over until I have a "real" post.

It's a gayby!

Forget the babies...here's a gayby. Specifically, these would be the first ultrasound pictures of my nephew or niece. And of course, since I'm SO gay, the baby has turned into a gayby. Hey, if OTHER people can have a dark acolyte...

Just go there...trust me, bitches!

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41902

Please note the picture caption as well.

Proof there is balance in the universe

It's true. Yesterday, I was shown divine proof that balance does indeed exist in the Universe. What proof, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. As most here in Laramie know, Daddy Bush was in town for a public speaking engagement. This meant buildings being closed for security sweeps, major roads being blocked off so that motorcades could pass by, and an impending sense of Republicanosity in town. Needless to say, my little ol' gay self was feeling like I needed a shower and a cocktail. But it's true what they say about it being darkest before the dawn. Just as I was ready to wallow in the depths of despair that only a relative (and spawner) of W can bring, a light revealed itself. I got in the car and tuned into Derek and Romaine on the radio. Who was their guest? That's right. Star of music and film herself...repeated guest on "The Love Boat"...and a semi-icon in the gay community: CHARO! With her skimpy and oh-so-colorful outfits, her large breast, and her thick accent as she giggles "coochie coochie coochie," she's about 2 seconds away from being a drag queen. She's still overly energetic, very friendly, and still loves her 'mos! She's just released a new CD and has kept busy as an entertainer on...shockingly...cruises. Including gay ones. And she parties down with the party boys, from the sounds of it. So just remember, for stuffed shirt Republican war monger out there...there's a Charo to balance it out!

PS...if you don't know who Charo is...die you infant scum!

Fuck my feet hurt

Well, I'd say the show was a success. We raised $1300 for the RRC, had a standing-room-only audience, and had a shitload of fun too. What more could you hope to do with a Saturday night in Laramie? Well, make people think, that's what.

Last night Kristen, our beloved cocktail fairy, had several run ins with "regulars" who kept asking "Why are there gay men on the stage at the Cowboy." She finally had enough and began responding with rather pointed terms and tones. "Look...they've brought in a crowd twice what we'd have at this time on a Saturday night. They're buying 4 times as many drinks, and they're buying cocktails...not beer...which cost twice as much. They're having fun and raising money for a good cause. If you don't like it, JJ's bar is down the street. Oh...and this is going to become an annual fucking event!" I love the way she made an executive decision...and came to happily report it all to us backstage.

As happy as I was about her response to narrow-mindedness, a later story made me tear up...thank goodness for waterproof mascara. Apparently, one such regular stayed for a while, decided "it wasn't his thing" to hang out with gay people, so he took her advice. A while later that night, he came back. When she asked him about why, he said that he had been to 2 other bars while he was gone. And had not had any fun. So he came back to a place where people WERE having fun. "So see...it's not so bad, is it?" she asked him. "No. No it's not. Can I get a beer" was his simple response.

All in all, a successful night, don't you think? The nails are off, the makeup removed, and the feet propped up. Now all I have to do is start looking for more numbers...apparently our adoring fans will not hear of the possibility it was a one-time deal.

Alright, now I'm pissed

Yesterday I received a package notification slip from the post office. I was expecting my new kite, so I raced to the P.O. to claim my new baby! Thanks to the frickin' traffic on the Clark St. viaduct, I pulled up the Post Office about 1 minute after they locked up the clerk's area. Spending 10 minutes to travel 1 block over the damned bridge was enough to frost my cookies, but then I went to claim my goodies this morning.

I left the office and went out to the car, ready to hustle my buns to the P.O. with claim slip in hand. As I walked up to the car, I noticed that one of my fabulously gay stickers had been ripped in half! My FOD (Friends of Dorothy) sticker is now only half there. :( And I'm pissed! This is the first time my car has been defaced in any way, and it's pretty clear that it wasn't something that just blew off the car or was washed away.

I know that I probably should be happy that it was only one sticker...and not paint, tires, windows, etc. But the concept just pisses me off. I don't go around defacing Jesus fish, yellow ribbons, Army bumper stickers, or even anti-gay stickers handed out by the 700 club. So why does someone feel the right to trash one of my stickers, for which I paid good money. And why choose FOD instead of the Bush is a Muggle sticker or one of the more overtly gay stickers? *sigh* Narrow minded people: Can't live with 'em, can't dig NEARLY enough shallow graves to hide 'em all.

Another gay post

Who knew?! I'm going to have consecutive gay posts. I just wanted to let everyone know that hope for a kinder, gentler (read more gay friendly) future is not lost. I just returned from Powell, Wyoming. A largely agricultural community in a deeply religious (predominantly LDS) area, Powell has a population of about 5500. Northwest College asked me to come up and help them establish a SafeZone program by conducting a "Train the Trainers" workshop. Though it meant a 7 hour trip one way (and resulted in my first ever speeding ticket on the way up), it was worth the trip. If a rural and conservative community like Powell can have a program that reaches out to GLBT folks, anyone can.

As devoted readers and friends may recall, I made a similar trip in Feb. 2004 to Pocatello, ID to set up a SZ program at Idaho State University. Coming in December: a trip to Scottsbluff, NB so THEY can have a SZ program too. We're also talking to Chadron, NB as they have expressed interest too. So see...there is some good gay news out there in the world. Jus thought I'd share.

PS...the Drag Show is this Saturday at 9pm at the Cowboy Bar. Get your bitch asses there! $5 each or $8 per couple...we don't care who your couple is. Me in 6 inch heels. Need I say more?

I remember

It was 7 years ago today that a group of folks went to the Village Inn after the LGBTA meeting. Later that night, Matt went to the Fireside, left with Henderson and McKinney, was robbed, beaten, and tied to a fence. I have not forgotten. I will not forget. Matt, I will continue to be a voice in the silence you left behind.

Ink vs. Art

I already had 2 tattoos. I had ink. Yesterday I got a 3rd. I went to high school with a guy who now has a nice tattoo and piercing place in Denver. He does the piercing and his partner does the ink. He's won several awards at national and international tattoo art shows/conventions. I told him basically what I wanted: "angel wings with a rainbow fill that start on my foot and wrap up and around my ankle. Add a halo to the front on my shin." From that description he grabbed a new sharpie and did a freehand mock up on my leg. 2 hours, a fair amount of pain (there's little between the bones of the ankle and the needle), and a little bit of blood later, I have this:








I am in LOVE. The only thing I could think was: the others are nothing compared to this. Such detail and artistry. I didn't just get ink; I got art.

NOTE: I know in the pictures it seems to be red and irritated. It's actually not; he used a pink Sharpie to draw on the design. This is just leftover ink, as I cannot scrub it free just yet. IT HURTS. And I'm so happy!

No wonder I have no time

Recently I was pondering my schedule. As my local readers are well aware, I manage to stay fairly busy. In addition to a full-time job (where I'm STILL putting in 50 hours a week thanks to the start of semester) and several committees/boards/activist groups, I also do things to stay active. So...on Tuesdays and Thursdays I have volleyball (until the middle of October). Wednesdays are about to become AIDS Walk meetings again. When I have Family Planning meetings, they are on Mondays. Fridays are, of course, bowling nights. Saturdays are fairly booked up for the next month or so. So what's left? Occasional Mondays and weekends. With folks coming to Laramie to research for local productions of "The Laramie Project," the drag show, and the occasional bridge night (yes, I am old enough that some of the professors have decided it's time for me to learn bridge), I'm booked. This weekend I am heading to Denver for tattoo #3. I'm very excited, as I've been thinking about this one since I got #2 a little over 2 years ago. But it means another day where I'm not at home, slaving on the yard or house. Anyone want to mow my lawn for me before it snows? Patch up the fence? Find and plug the leak in the hot tub? I'm such a bad homeowner. Thank gawd I'm not still a student, or I'd be SCREWED!

Adventures in Hair Removal

So we are now one month away from the big drag show. Last Saturday the sisters met to film the video introduction to our show. This meant the first shave. Armed with a full can of shaving cream (obtained for free from Mary Kay because I dragged Mandy along to a party) and a 12 pack of Bic Sensitive Skin Razors, I began the adventure. Into the shower we go (please note the use of black boxes and "blur dots" to protect my privacy and your vision) where we do the usual shampoo, conditioner, facial cleanser routine. I then opened the razors with a smile, lathered up an arm, and set to work. Now, boys have this tendency to be more hairy, even on our arms. I know...shocking, isn't it? Each razor pass would clear about an inch or two before clogging up. As you might imagine, it was a long process. I finished one arm just as the hot water was running out completely. Thank goodness I started early. After drying off, I used a trimmer to knock down the rest of the hair to more managable levels. I waited a while for the hot water heater, a large one to be sure, so that I wouldn't be dealing with shaving and goose bumps. As my crack team of make-up experts (Tessa and Gina) pointed out, they are NOT a good combo. The rest of the shaving went fairly well. I was very impressed with my legs...minus the slight speed bump cuts I got on my knees...which are tough to deal with! Two showers, several hours, and 5 razors later, it was done.

So the process of shaving was interesting enough. But the sensations and introspections are even more so. First of all, it just feels ODD to not have hair someplace you normally do. Drying off with a towel, putting on clothing, or just the breeze moving past your body feels completely foreign. In some respects, it feels like a heightened awareness...you simply notice things more consistently because it feels different. In other respects, you lose sensation. Hair is connected to nerves and skin, and is part of a complicated system of our body. We become accustomed to feeling the air movements on our hair.

And so I started to think...it took me hours to get ready. Now granted, most women aren't starting from the level of hair I possess, but it's no wonder it takes so long for them to get ready! This is so much fricking work! Shave, moisturize (VERY important), dress. Then it's time for make-up! That took quite a while, though to be fair I was learning and could go much faster now that I know vaguely what I'm doing. And I kept thinking what if I get pulled over wearing this make-up? What if I get a flat and have to change a tire? What will the guys at work think next week if they notice I'm now hairless on my arms and legs?

The sheer volume of expectations, insecurities, and taboos about femininity and masculinity is overwhelming. Girls must shave themselves all over, men must not. Make-up on a means X, but Y on a female. So take a moment today and think about how we put so much emphasis and meaning on something as mundane as hair. I think you'll be surprised, and knowing most of my friends...a little outraged at the gender rules bullshit.

It's official

I'm going to be an auntie! Sue and Mark are expecting. The due date is May 18th. Here's the proof:



This means that I will not be going to Holland for the holidays. I will instead be saving to get there in the summer, so I can begin corrupting my niece or nephew. And yes...I've already threatened to buy a drum set. HeeHee!

UPDATE: This is apparently the 4th test she's taken. It's the one from the doctor's office, after doing 3 at home. ;) The baby shall be named Elizabeth Ashley (Ella for short) if a girl, and Alexander Damian if a boy. But don't tell the Dutch...tradition there says you don't tell the names before the baby's born. Who knew?!

Dinner with the Prez

So tonight I went to a reception at the house of our interim University President, Tom Buchanan. First let me say that I always respected Phil Dubois and felt he truly had UW's best interests at heart. UW is in a MUCH better place now that it was when he arrived, and he deserves a lot of the credit for that. I didn't agree with every decision or intitiative, but the results are impressive when one takes a step back. I also attended a number of social events and receptions at Phil's house, and always enjoyed myself there.

Tonight, however, was different. Catering staff and the ever-popular open bar were there. So were about a dozen members of PACMWA, the President's Advisory Council on Minority and Women's Affairs...and a few spouses or partners. Tom and his wife Jacque do not live in a palacial estate. They have a simple yet elegant home on the south side of Laramie's tree area. The menu seemed VERY elite, especially for a vary small group of people and an invitation that called for "casual dress." Prawns, quesadillas, crudites, chocolade creme dessert cups and tartlettes. There was also an Ahi tuna parfait, with diced bell peppers, eggs, and topped with a small scoop of cavier. Nice spread, eh?

And yet, it was the oddest thing...it was the LEAST pretentious event I've been to in ages. Tom answered the door in blue jeans. We were impressed by the two beautiful carousel horses in the living room. We were AMAZED when Jacque told us that Tom MADE them...carved from solid wood. He was gracious, genuine, and...above all...human. We moved outside to the backyard for conversation. Francisco talked a bit about his sabbatical in Chile. We teased Beth about the fact she's just starting a semester long sabbatical. We rejoiced in the fact that Arietta is back from two rounds chemo, and laughed when she informed us her hair has grown back enough that she woke up with bed head the other day. We talked about the tornado in Wright, Hurricane Katrina, and our general digust with W. It was a group of friends enjoying each other's company, even if we didn't all know each other well.

I hold out great hope for UW with Tom in charge. I sincerely hope that he throws his hat into the ring...and gets the job permanently. I leave you with the comment that gave me the most to think about tonight. Tom told us when he was asked to step in as Interim President, he had only two conditions. The first was that he would not have to move, just to have a bigger house in which to hold events. The second was that he didn't want a UW car. He told the trustees that he and Jacque each had a car, and only a two car garage. Neither of them wanted to park their cars on the street just so a UW car could sit in a garage. He also told them that the money either a car or home would cost could be better spent buying someone out of a class or paying for another part-time lecturer's salary. Apparently his time as the VP of Academic Affairs is not lost on him. What do you think? Someone with priorities worthy of a university President?