Ask and ye shall receive

There are now more baby pictures (we'll get back to the gayness soon enough)! Actual close up pictures of the cutest baby ever.

http://students.uwyo.edu/jimosbrn/ella.htm

Enjoy!

Elizabeth Ashley Gerritsen

Meet Ella. At birth, she was 20 inches long and weighed 9 pounds 4 ounces. I'm told she's doing really well, though she does get a little crampy every now and then after she eats.

Aunt yes, parents no

Dayo's family decided not to come to the concert, so I didn't get/have to meet them. No, I don't know why for sure; I decided not to press the issue while AT the concert. I'll find out tonight, most likely. The concert was a lot of fun, and Dayo had 2 solo parts. The little imp didn't tell me about all of them so they'd be a surprise. Like a good boyfriend, I also surprised him. Don't you think everyone deserves a dozen roses after a concert? ;)

In other news, I'm officially an aunt! After a series of phone calls (some of them LATE/EARLY), I got the last call today about 11:15am MST. Elizabeth Ashley Gerritsen (Ella for short) was born at 5:45pm on May 22nd, 2006. For those doing the math, an 8 hour time difference is how my niece was born in the future. ;) I don't have any numbers on weight, length, etc. yet, as she was only about 30 minutes old and still resting in mom's arms when I got the call. I'll have more info...and pictures...available soon. Mark swore he'd be sending me an email "yet tonight" (remember the 8 hour time difference). Everyone is healthy and happy, albeit very tired. (Contractions started about 3 or 3:30pm yesterday). To quote Mark, "She's beautiful."

More soon!

Packrat Nostalgia

My mother trained me to save all papers, as they could be important some day. Last week I spoke to a few junior high students about activism, and cleaned out the "Drawer o' Gay" in my office filing cabinet. I recycled about 2 reams worth of paper that we no longer needed, but it was the uncovered (sometimes forgotten) memories that are worth commenting on:

• An original fax from Fred Phelps to Phil Dubois about his intent to picket UW. After our "Angel Action," he sent a fax to Phil decrying his "assault" on the First Amendment. It was addressed to "Philip L. Dubois, Perfidious Pandering Poltroon."
• A letter from Chasity Pasley (Russell Henderson's girlfriend, CAC student employee, and my friend) to the CAC staff, upset for what she felt was their abandonment of her during the trial. I also found the letter I wrote her in response one year (to the day) after Matt's attack, though I never sent it to her.
• My concert ticket and backstage pass for the Elton John concert here in Laramie.
• The original drawing that was chosen as the new Spectrum logo, submitted by a UW student. (We held a contest for people to suggest a new name and logo for the group.)
• A stack of research I did on Exodus International, the largest "ex-gay" movement in the country. FYI...it doesn't work in the long term, and is phsychologically damaging according to the APA and several other professional organizations who know about such things.
• Various posters, fliers, and advertisements for Spectrum events, speakers, etc.
• Countless news clippings and online articles (printed, of course) relating to Spectrum, interviews, events, and Matt.
• A whole folder of info about the phone bank we organized when NBC ran their movie "The Matthew Shepard Story."
• Gobs more stuff, steeped in history.

My point: Needless to say, some of the materials bring up a sudden tide of emotions and memories, long since rusted or forgotten. It's taken some time to get my brain wrapped around some of these things, and I've not gone through much of the materials in depth. I simply went through the drawer trying to identify items and decide if they should be kept, archived, or recycled.

My plan: Sort through the stacks in detail, and give much of the material to the American Heritage Center here on campus. They have a large archive of materials about Matt, and are always looking for more. They're also interested in documenting under-represented groups or themes, like Spectrum and GLBT people here at UW. Since the materials will be indexed, sorted, and stored in controlled environments, they should be available for many generations to come.

Today's lesson: The past, even though sometimes painful, can teach us many things. Go through your own scrap book, treasure chest, file cabinets, photo albums, etc. Dig through your past. Some items might be ready for us to "tidy" them out of lives, clearing much needed drawer/closet/storage space. Some of them can teach other people about things they've not yet encountered. And some of them...simply need to be remembered from time to time. To teach us new lessons, remind us of old ones, and keep us rooted in ourselves. We cannot escape our past, nor should we try. We should, instead, remember our mistakes and heartache, and find new joy in the happy memories.

You want me to meet WHO!?

So the boy (Dayo) has a concert coming up the 19th and 20th. He's in Harmony, the gay and lesbian chorus in Denver. I told him I wanted to come see his show, even though his solo was cancelled. Then he told me who else would be there. The people he wants me to meet: his family. Parents. Brother. Sister-in-law. I have never had to meet family before, so I'm admittedly a little freaked. I-ve gotten some good advice from friends already:

• "Just be yourself."
• "You're a great person, trust in that."
• "If they love their son, they'll love you too."
• "Don't try too hard."
• "Don't worry...it'll be fine."
• "They'll probably be nervous too."

The truth is that I'm a professional worrier. I spent years apprenticing with my mother, and mastered the art long ago. I'm certain this is some sort of gay rite of passage, but it's one that has me shaking in my size 14 six-inch heels! I'm trying to convince some of my friends they want to see the concert too. It's all about a wing man...or five.

Cross your fingers...

A little late, kids

A while back I gave into pop culture and signed up for myspace. I know...I still feel a little dirty about it, though it has helped me connect with new friends and find old friends from WAY back. (Like...back when I was straight WAY back.) Today I noticed several people were posting a video on their bulletin...a video of one of Phelps' kids on Hannity and Colmes. Yes, Fox News had her on to talk about the protests at funerals of soldiers killed in Iraq. Needless to say, the boys were none too pleased with her views, and the whole clip is pretty much name calling and shouting. So, like any other Fox News program. ;) There has been a lot of outrage at these latest flavors of protests, and several states have started passing laws restricting protests or "disorderly conduct" within a certain distance of a funeral, cemetery, etc. People are up in arms, and asking "how can you picket at a funeral?"

Watching the clip made me realize how angry I am about this sudden indignation and outrage. This is not a new tactic for him. People are shocked at the crass behavior and the impact on families. Where was their righteous indignation when Phelps protested at Matt's funeral? Or Sonny Bono (since he didn't turn his back on daughter Chastity, an out lesbian)? Or countless AIDS victims? It was okay to picket funerals then. They didn't rush to pass laws protecting mourners or worry about the family of gay people. So it's okay to do this to the dirty homos but leave our troops alone?! I'm never a fan of double standards or hypocrisy. But this really got me steamed.

In recent weeks I've heard people say "He's started protesting at funerals." No. He's been doing that for a LONG time, it's just a different group of people now. "You shouldn't be allowed to do that." I agree...but you didn't seem to care for the last decade and a half. Only when it's someone you respect or agree with. Not those silly faggots. They deserve it, even if only a little bit. GROW UP. Save your indignation for someone who hasn't been dealing with him for 8 years. Try to muster the same anger when he protests an AIDS funeral. Or a gay one. But don't pretend this is something new. Don't pretend you're just now learning about it. I know firsthand how much coverage he received in 1998 and 1999. Where were your condemnations then?

The $1000 Blister

You heard me right. AIDS Walk was Saturday. For those of you who missed it without a VERY good excuse, shame on you. So far, we've raised over $14,500 for people in Wyoming living with HIV/AIDS. We saw old friends, like Heidi and Issac, Chamblee and Alexandra, Mandy, and Rachelle! And the President pulled a dirty trick on me.

In the middle of the opening ceremonies, he called me up on stage. He said "I understand you usually spend the walk inside working the registration table." I told him that was true, and he said "the President's Office will pledge $1000 if you'll walk." How could I say no?

Since I wasn't planning to walk, I didn't have on sun screen, and got a lovely sunburn. Since I wasn't planning on walking, I was wearing $6 flip flops from Wal-Mart, and got a lovely blister. I named it "the $1000 blister." I also got to see the walk first-hand for the first time. It was amazing seeing over 400 people walking down the streets of Laramie, raising awareness and raising money. It was amazing seeing the faces of people on the street as they looked to see what the "parade" was for. It was amazing seeing the people drive past or look out of windows and cheering us on. And it was amazing to do it all with the First Lady of Wyoming, the President and his wife, and dozens of my closest friends.

Today's lesson: Be ready for surprises. You might earn a $1000 blister and a full heart.
Today's other lesson: Always wear good walking shoes to AIDS Walk, even if you don't think you're walking. ;)

A catchy little ditty

Apparently I've been living in a bubble, as I'd not heard the song Pink wrote recently. It's called "Dear Mr. President." It's GOOD. See her sing it live on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9eDJ3cuXKV4

Little things make a difference

It's easy to feel unappreciated and tired, especially when you've been at something for a while. I've been out and active in Laramie for 11 years now, and there's still so much to do. So many changes I think need to happen. This time of year brings a sense of rushing and hurrying and stressing for everyone. Finals are approaching, AIDS Walk is this weekend, and summer is just around the corner. It's enough to make anyone's head spin. But the extra awards dinners, panel presentations, and committee meetings can mean a sense of things left undone. Goals you didn't get accomplished. Working long hours and putting extra time...and having go unnoticed.

At times like these, the little things can mean a lot. Margaret put together an AMAZING video of photos from last year's walk, to remind us all why we put in the extra time and energy. Spectrum asked me to be the closing speaker at the Day of Silence rally; they want me to speak on what's changed over the past decade or so. While conducting interviews with staff at Family Planning for the Executive Director's performance review, staff members commented how much it means to see my smiling face at the clinic, something most other board members don't do.

While I would love to have a stack of awards, certificates, and trophies to represent the work I do, I continuously remind myself that it's not about shiny objects on a shelf. Besides...one more thing to dust, right? ;) It's about seeing Brittany become a force to be reckoned with. It's about watching Travis learn to let go, and growing his own replacements (a lesson that is HARD to learn, trust me). It's about watching Ainsley take risks and become more involved, despite the consequences with her family. It's about hearing of a brand new UW student, reaching out for help for the first time and finding Spectrum there waiting. Peolple are my awards. Open hearts are my trophies.

Homework: Find a way to make a little difference to someone. Say thank you to someone who means a lot to you. Don't do it for recognition. Do it because it's right. You'll be amazed how full your heart can become.

Sorry for the delay

Between trips to DC and Denver, trying to recover from a lost phone, AIDS walk being just over a week away, and trying to date someone long distance, I've been swamped! So on to the gay update:

My trip to DC was incredible. Georgetown Day School is a whole different world. A world of privilege. Money. Influence. And the students were....students. Most were very privileged as well, but students nonetheless. The assembly was optional, and was packed. I think the talk went very well. I had several students come talk to me throughout the day, and many were thinking in new ways. Some came out to me, thanking me for making their school a better place. Bear in mind that this was their second annual gay pride week at GDS. This year they did a "Day of Noise," as opposed to a Day of Silence. Music playing at the table handing out buttons made by the students. My presentation. A panel discussion that night. It was amazing.

I had lunch with some of the students. Then spoke to a class that focuses on race, ethnicity, gender, class, sexual orientation, etc. The students at both impressed me. They understood the intersections of different forms of discrimination. That racism, sexism, and homophobia are related. One student is part of a committee that plans an annual conference on racism, and might contact me to speak about racism and homophobia. Then I spoke at the faculty meeting after school, thanking the staff for their support. Making them understand why weeks like this were important, and telling them about some of my interactions with students. The principal, who had only attended the 1 hr assembly, offered me a teaching contract in front of the whole faculty. Literally. (No...I'm not taking the job, but was VERY flattered to get the offer.)

None if this is intended to be bragging. I simply want everyone to understand that we all have the power to make a difference. All I did there was tell my story. Talk to people about my opinions and thoughts. Share part of myself, and listen as others did the same thing. We ALL have the power to do this. Whether it's at a school assembly or talking to our grandmothers in the living room at home, we can do this. Here's your homework: go talk to someone about something important to you. Try to make a difference today. Then wake up tomorrow...and do it all over again. It never stops.

Lost my phone

Hey gang. I left my phone in a cab today. Yeah yeah yeah. Shuddup. My phone number is disconnected until I get the replacement phone. This also means I prolly lost your numbers. So give me a call with your number. But you'll have to wait until they turn my account back on. Sorry for the hassle. Imagine being me...on a trip. With no numbers and no ability to call anyone. Including my new boy!!!

Ask and ye shall receive

So before a lynch mob forms to kick my ass, here's a picture of the boy. Dejan "Dayo" Z. Yes...the date went very well. Date #2 is next weekend in Denver. Please forgive the stupid grin on my face for a while.

Back to the zoo!

Today we will look at label whores, as we return to our examination of the many different types of homos. Label whores, closely related to the average "preppy gay," are ALWAYS found wearing only brand name clothing. Tommy, Abercrombie, Diesel, GAP, Hugo, and AX are staples. They are sometimes seen in clothing as "common" as Old Navy, though it is rare. They tend to congregate in groups, and engage in retail therapy at stores like The Buckle and Structure. Even their colorful and shiny accessories will be high-end brand name merchandise. Louis Vuitton, Fossil, Coach, and Oakley are all common acquisitions. Do not refer to shopping at retail stores such as Target, Sears, or Mervyns, as this can send a label whore into seizures. It can also trigger primal anger, especially when two or more label whores are present. On rare occasion, such packs of designer divas have been known to attack when threatened with references to Wal-Mart or any other store ending in "mart."
******
Many gay men place a high premium on designer, high end purchases. Material goods take on far too much importance for some people. The more extreme and absurd examples are when a person is thought to be of lesser moral or social value because they don't "dress properly." My favorite Dragapella group, The Kinsey Sicks, even have a comic song called "Wear Names." Heaven forbid you don't fit the standard body types or sizes, as you cannot find designer clothing and are therefore doomed to being a social outcast. As if personal worth can be measured by income, fashion sense, or pricey trinkets...

As a...full-figured and voluptuous creature, I loathe a true label whore. It's one thing to own a really nice shirt from A&F or Armani. It's another to own nothing but, and look down your nose at others who cannot afford or otherwise acquire "hoch couture." Maybe I'm crazy, but I just can't see judging people on the basis of how they dress. I've known some well-dressed asses, and some amazing people who couldn't put together an outfit to save their souls. I don't claim to be a fashion plate myself, but I can color coordinate, accessorize, and I do think I clean up nicely. (Proof to be shown soon, when Squid has her pics developed from the Bear Dinner.) Much like the gym bunny or body nazi, they're shallow and vain creatures...and not worth the time of any of my fabulous readers! ;)

My heart runneth over

So it wasn't ALL about the boy, though that's a MAJOR reason to smile. Other reasons:

• I got to see old friends, including Judy.
• I got to sit at a table with some amazing (and fun) people...and made new friends.
• I got to watch people meet Brittany, and be as amazed by her as we are.
• I got to watch Brittany's eyes bug out as she took it all in...and began to realize that people are amazed by her.
• I may have a line on an agent...an old friend of mine who used to work for GLAAD.
• I learned that the Foundation is VERY close to having a speaker's bureau up and running...and will be talking to them more about it VERY soon.
• I got to give my card to several influential people, and may have made some invaluable contacts.
• I may have convinced several people from Denver to come up for AIDS Walk.
• I didn't get to say "hi" to Freddy as planned...but Nuclia Waste was on the job, and his hate didn't go unchallenged.
• I watched the Foundation raise $109,000...and that's before the door proceeds and online auction.
• I got to hear Judith Light and Robert Disiderio speak...and cried at the power and conviction of their words.
• I got to spend some time with Craig...talking very frankly and honestly.
• I may have secured a serious chunk of money for the RRC, courtesy of the MSF...and the money from Elton John's concert.
• I got to meet Logan (Matt's brother) finally.
• I was reminded of why our work is so important, and that there are a lot of amazing people doing it every day.
• I met a boy...and it looks like it's going somewhere.

I'm already looking into what it takes to be a table captain for next year's dinner. I already have 4 people who said they'd come with me. Start saving your pennies, kiddies. Tickets were $150 this year...and it's worth every penny. You'll want to be sitting at the cool kids table...MINE!

I have weekend plans

More tomorrow on the dinner and weekend in Denver. It was ALL kinds of incredible. But a quick note on the most exciting update:

His name is Dayo. He's Serbian. As in...has the cutest accent! And he's cute. We met Sunday night at the Beer Bust. Then he followed us to Charlie's so he could talk to me more. Says he was watching me from the minute I walked in and had to work up the nerve to talk to me. Are you kidding me?! He asked me if he could take me out on a date. Dinner. Movie. It'd be a first for me. So I said "Oh yeah." So he's coming up here Saturday. He works for Comcast. He's in a gay and lesbian choir. He does karaoke two nights a week. He lives with his parents, as his income pays the bills. Their place is at Monaco and Mississippi. He bowls on Wednesday nights. I talked to a friend who knows him a little. Says he's a nice guy, not a tramp, and I should go for it. I'd already decided that all for myself, but it was nice to hear it confirmed. So in short...I'm giddy!

Guess who's coming to dinner?!

I promise there will be more posts in my series on the different flavors of gay. *cheesy grin* But we interrupt our regularly scheduled programming with a special news bulletin. I've posted a few times about going to the MS Bear dinner in Denver this weekend. In case you hadn't heard yet, an old "friend" will be there in Denver to "contribute" his own special messages on the 5th anniversary of the dinner. That's right folks...Uncle Freddie (Fred Phelps) will be there! He and his group have several protests scheduled in Denver (well, Denver, Lakewood, and Englewood) this weekend, including the bear dinner.

I am actually looking forward to seeing Uncle F again, and saying hi. I do SO hope he remembers me. If only I still had my wings on hand...but you better believe I will be wearing my halo! And I will be including the one Dawn gave me in Casper. "By your powers combined, I am Captain Plan...er...Captain Angel!"

Special Bonus Post

Two in one day! I know...a rare treat. But I wanted to share comments and thoughts about my trip to Casper last weekend and the upcoming trip to Denver this weekend.

This was the 3rd staging of "The Laramie Project" I have seen now. I cried just as much. Some things were a little different, though. This staging was done "in the round," meaning that there wasn't a stage per se and the audience sat on all four sides of the open "stage." Stage III is the community theater group in Casper, and Matt was a part of it when he lived there. Many of the people in the cast knew Matt or had been in plays with him, and very few of them were "professional" actors or people with much theater experience. They had albums in the lobby with clippings and photos from all the previous shows Stage III had done. Matt was, of course, in some of those albums. The cast was about 30 people, two to three times the size of most TLP casts. The director said "I didn't want to tell people 'no, you can't be a part of this particular show.'" It was the last night of the show, and we were invited to the cast part after...which devolved into karaoke. I called it quits at 3am. ;)

It was interesting to see the different nuances of a third staging, as well as my reactions to it. I reacted more strongly to some things, and less so to others. Blocking, lighting, inflection, characterization...I notice all of these things more now that I have other shows to compare/contrast it with. All of the casts have done an exceptional job, though I think the script brings out the best in a cast and director. You don't take on TLP unless you are passionate about it and want to do the best job possible. I went with Meg, Jen, and Rob...and was glad to have company for the show again. I'm not sure I'd want to see it alone. It was WELL WORTH the trip to Casper...even with the SHITTY drive back home last night. (They closed the roads about 20-30 minutes after Margaret and I got back, and while Meg and Jen were on it. We're all home safe and sound, though.)

Denver this weekend: I can't wait to see Judy again, and I'm VERY excited to be attending the Bear dinner for the first time. I'm also VERY excited that I'll have company from UW. Woohoo Squid! It'll be a more sedate weekend, but that will be quite welcome, I think. And I'll get to go to the beer bust on Sunday, which is always a good time...and prime dating opportunity for me! Cross your fingers, kiddies!

Raver Bois

In our continuing examination of the types of gay boys, we next look at a younger subset: raver bois. In the wild, this species often remains elusive until their 21st birthday. Before that time, they are found in large groups and are attracted by bright lights and loud, bass-driven music. These groups may venture into public if there are wildlife refuges available to them, known as "underage clubs," though they will often create temporary nests in obscure locations, known to law enforcement as "raves." Raver bois often undergo a type of molting when they turn 21, and emerge from an invisible cocoon in the adult form "circuit boy" or "circuit boi." They are rarely found in long-term relationships, usually preferring a series of brief physical encounters or, in some members of the species, a series of short monogamous relationships. They are primarily focused on having fun and enjoying every last ounce of their youth and beauty. Think Peter Pan on X.

Ah, raver bois - a veritable buffet for chicken hawks (more on this species in an upcoming post). They are few and far between here in Wyoming, and are rarely seen out here. We have a shortage of underage clubs, so they will find random raves in the middle of nowhere or drive long distances to reach places like Rapid City, Billings, Denver, or Salt Lake. Club drugs are VERY popular with raver bois, including X, G, and K. Cocaine, meth, and prescription drugs like percoset, darvoset, valium, etc. are also common, often to the point of excess and serious dependence. Please understand - I'm not trying to be judgmental about drug use. I'm of the opinion that there is a fine line between recreational substance use and drug abuse/addiction.

What's interesting to me about raver bois and chemicals is that it's often used as an escape mechanism, especially here in Wyoming. The drugs aren't being used to enhance what is already going to be a good time out dancing, hanging with friends, etc. They are used AS the good time. They can only enjoy themselves if they are not sober. It's certainly not a problem unique to young gay men, or gay men in general. For raver bois (and circuit boys, too) I think it's connected to the pressures society places on conformity and heterosexuality. The substances become an excuse to escape from the stress and strain of hiding your sexuality, "toning it down" in public, or fitting into an "acceptable" role.

Gym Bunnies and Body Nazis

As we continue our look at the different flavors of gay, we pause to look at a now-common sub-species: the gym bunny, also known as a body nazi. These curious creatures spend most of their time working out, sculpting abs, chiseling pecs, and obsessing over that last pesky 1% of body fat. They are often overly critical of their bodies, and are not content having an amazing body; it must be perfect, and beyond. They may eventually become so obsessed that they become an over-muscled, neckless neanderthal. They often travel in packs, as they must have spotters and work out buddies. Their vanity often projecting onto others, gym bunnies are known for superficiality. They are only seen with other very pretty, overly fit people and rarely couple for longer than a few sweaty dates. After all, a relationship would only detract from time spent in the gym or downing the latest wheat grass - creatine - protein shake and dietary supplements from GNC.

Nature-channel-esque humor aside, there are countless body nazis out there. There is a serious body image issue in the gay community, particularly among gay men. We're obsessed with having perfect bodies and looking young forever. Collagen and Botox are sweeping through the gay-borhood like a joint Cher and Madonna tour. Gay men are hiring age and beauty specialists, and personal trainers must make fortunes off of us. Anyone who doesn't look like they just stepped off the cover of Men's Fitness migh as well have a third arm if they step into a gay club. The rampant popularity of online dating sites like Gay.com and Manhunt hasn't helped much either. Men cruise around the websites looking for other pretty people for hookups, one night stands, and friends with benefits. "No picture, no profile - no private" has become a nearly universal decree online, indicating that nobody is willing to talk to you without a full profile and picture. While this started because of security and privacy concerns, it's now about only talking to the pretty boys online.

Why is this? Why are so many gay men obsessed with being the perfect physical specimen? Have we learned nothing from the decades of discussion about body image for women, eating disorders, and magazines at the grocery store checkout aisle? I'm of the opinion that part of the gay male obsession with youth and beauty is because of the pressure we face because we buck the norms. Men aren't supposed to date other men, aren't supposed to cry, and certainly aren't supposed to be feminine in any way. Being a woman is a bad thing in our society, after all, though it is slowly becoming less so. So if we become the most macho, muscled, and masculine specimens of manliness possible, we're somewhat more acceptable to society...and to ourselves. If we can make our exteriors closer fit the ideals of Atlas or Adonis, maybe - just maybe - people will ignore the fact that we date other men and aren't Ward Cleaver. Society said gay is bad because this is what a gay person looks and acts like; gay men responded by becoming more outwardly perfect.

Happy Blog-Birthday!

March 11th marked the 2 year anniversary of my blog. Though it has changed format, colors, and design a few times, it's always been pure ME! Hope you're all enjoying the ride, and that you're all doing so for years to come! In honor of the birth of my blog, we today begin an examination of the many different flavors of gay. Please note that nobody fits into only one box, regardless of sexual orientation, race, etc. These are simply meant as a semi-tongue-in-cheek, witty, and thought-provoking look at "types" of gay people. Maybe if it goes over well, we'll move on to some of the straight folks too!

On a recent trip to Denver I encountered two gay men and a lesbian who made me (and two of my friends) very uncomfortable. We were all sitting in Cheeseman Park enjoying a picnic lunch and the sun. The trio of venom, as I have come to think of them, began to cut down anyone and everyone who walked or drove near us. Now, I'm not above commenting on the occasional fashion felony or horrendo hairdo. But this went on for about 45 minutes, non-stop. And it was every single person who went past. It left us wondering what they said about us when we weren't around.

These are what I refer to as "snooty gays." They have decided they are much better than everyone else, and have no problem expressing that, though not always to someone's face. They often turn on their own and begin shredding other queers. "He forgot all-important purge part of the process." "Girl can't dance at all...how can she be gay?" They focus on dishing and trashing, and are not the nicest people to be around...unless you're part of their "in" crowd. Think high school cliques...with cocktails. They can be found only in the trendiest of places, will only wear all the right labels, and have very little time for anyone with whom they are not already friends. It's best to be gay, but only a certain KIND of gay. Ugh!

We have all engaged in humor at someone else's expense. Most of us tease each other, though there are boundaries we don't cross. And we don't do it ALL the time. It seems to me that it takes a lot of energy to look down your nose at other people so completely. And just imagine what it must do to your karma!