Thursday, March 11, 2004

On Germans and Fluidity

It's afternoon and, as promised, I'm looking for a way to avoid doing anything productive at work. Why is it that I find no motivation the last few weeks? I wonder if it's Spring Fever, since the weather is now toying with us. Lulling us into a false sense of security before a mountain of snow, wind, and ice roar over the top of us.

I went down to the Herb House before "lunch" today. Driving with the window down and the sunroof open reminded me of why I love the natural world so much. The sun was warm and I was filled with a not-so-hidden smile as I listened to the last few tracks of my new Christina Aguilera CD. I've never listened to her music before, but after Rod showed me her video for "Beautiful," I became intrigued. I bought her latest CD and must admit, it does not contain what I expected. Most of the tracks have messages like "Beautiful." Defiance. Refusal to subvert identity for the sake of others...or popularity. Being proud of one's self. And unlike Ms. Spears, she actually has vocal talent.

I enjoyed my time at the Herb House. While looking for natural ways to regain my voice, I visited with the owner. I regret that I never asked her name, but somehow names didn't seem as important as our conversation. I recognized her accent as German, which impressed her. She's originally from Frankfurt, and we spoke for a while about the differences between Germany and the States. I told her of my trip to Holland and Germany, and about my struggle to bring my German back up to snuff. She radiated selfless warmth and kindness. It was a refreshing change from the German woman I met last weekend. It's nice when the universe reminds us there are great souls living on our planet, and that we can connect with each other once in a while.

I admit to frustration this morning when Abe told me about the confusion in travel dates. I went into "Get it done" mode to book rooms and find puppy sitters, fretting and stressing (you're not the only who does that well, dearie). The more I've thought about it today, the better life seems. In explaining it to Fish, I reminded myself that all things happen for a reason. She wisely chided me: "This is a reward because you don't get a Spring Break." So I guess I owe Abe and her mom a thank you. Turns out the "confusion" and "inconvenience" will lead to good things. I've been so on-the-go lately that I haven't taken much time for myself. To relax. To breathe. To revel in nature and tranquility. To commune with Spirit. I realize now that this is supposed to happen so that I take a moment to pause. This is part of the positive change my horoscope was talking about. I just have to learn to accept it with more grace and fluidity.