Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Every year around this time I try to take a moment or two to ponder what I have. It's been a rough year in many ways. Job was poopy, money tight, house in disrepair, rights being stripped away across the country, friends moving away. Plenty of things to be stressed and worried about, and yet here I sit with a smile on my face.

I reminded myself that I HAD a job and that I had more money than some. There is still a roof over my head and I don't live in a place where I can be put to death for being gay. Thanks to phones and email, I can stay in contact with distant friends. All in all, I have a lot to be thankful for.

I'm also thankful to have enough control over my life to effect some change as well. I now have a new job, and we've done a fair amount of work on fixing up, cleaning, and redecorating the house. There's plenty more work to do, but we're making progress.

As usual, I'm most thankful for my friends and family, be they near or far. I'm thankful for a new and deep love in my life, and the future Jesse and I are planning together. Each day I fall a little deeper in love. I'm thankful for Bob and Jess, Squiddy, Ryan and Kass, Troy and Maggie, Scotty and Craig, Jerry, Jesse and Rae, Nell, Rob and Tracey, Kalley, Josh and Adam, Joe, Sean and Stubert, Mandyfish, Brendon and Tara, Jace and Leena, Chad, Dan, Dave, Sue and Mark, Ella and Alex, Dean, Greg, Ryan and Jenn, Dave and Jennifer, Lainers, Turbo and Reese, Ryan and Ethan, Beth and Wendy, Heidi and Bill, Lynn, Lisa, Jackie, Bev, Janet, Livi and Sophie, Joanna, Joee, Dennis and Judy, Torry and Julia, Keith, Kristen, Lynette, Coley and Margaret, Tamara and Mark, Liam, Mary, Max, Punch and Stephan, Rod, Christy and Rowdy, Linus, Tessa, Flynn, Todd, Zach and Whitney, and so many more.

Despite what I lack, I have so much, and think most of us are in the same situation. I'm thankful for all of you, and hold you all in my heart. I have a bounty, and my cup runneth over.

Thank you.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Two birds with one stone...

In the wake of California's passage of Prop 8, some folks in the Vermont legislature decided it would be a good time to introduce full marriage. The Governor says he'd veto. He also says he'd rather they focus on the state's funding shortages. Critics very rightly pointed out that working on civil rights doesn't REALLY detract from working on the budget, but I'm going to be a little more radical in my thinking. Go figure.

How many times do we have to tell you that allowing gay marriage makes money for you? Currently, I can get married in Connecticut. Massachussetts is removing the residency requirement, so that will be two. Folks, I'll be getting "gay married" in the next couple years, and will probably have to travel to one of these states to get the license to be all legal and official. This means tax dollars and tourist traffic. Think about the money that brings in.

Florists. Musicians. Photographers. Hotels. Caterers. Formal wear rentals, sales, and alterations. Gifts. Honeymoons. Massachussetts estimated that allowing out-of-staters to get married would mean another $110 million in the state economy plus $5 million in marriage license fees and sales/occupancy taxes. They also saw an influx of new residents as gay workers moved to a more welcoming climate despite higher costs.

Huh...seems like a simple fix to me, Governor Douglas. "We're too poor to care/do the right thing" doesn't add up.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Breakfast in bed

Since the day Jesse and I started dating, I've been the happy recipient of countless little surprises. Random flowers, whether purchased from a store or plucked from a nearby tree or bush. An unplanned visit to work to deliver a kiss to me and some candy for everyone in the office. They're all simple little gifts or actions, but they've meant the world to me.

We went to bed early on Tuesday, as Jesse had to get up early and work on his math homework. He finished earlier than he thought, so he decided to whip up a little something and serve me breakfast in bed. He woke me up 15 minutes early, carrying a tray with bacon, eggs, and toast. Nobody had every done that for me.

And it was a good thing, too, as I stepped into the shower only to discover the hot water heater had tripped its internal breaker and there was no hot water. While simultaneously trying to avoid hypothermia and stressing about how I would pay for a repair, I realized that it was still a good morning. I was still smiling over the random act of kindness.

And that's today's lesson: caring gestures, while seemingly small, can mean the world to someone, even when everything else is going south. Do something unexpected and kind for someone you care about. Make them a card, bake them something sweet, or pick up a little present for them. You never know what difference it can make.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Always the bridesmaid...

I figured I better post this quickly, as news is traveling VERY fast. Lest anyone feel slighted that they didn't "hear it here first..."

On Friday night I went out to Happy Hour for a cocktail with some friends. Jesse joined us after he was off work. We then went home and were expecting some friends over after a bit. In the meantime, we fought off the cold by making a fire. We were cuddled up in front of said fire talking when Jesse said "So you wanna marry me?" I said "sure, though it turns out that it's a bit harder to do it in California these days." I turned around to give him a kiss, and that's when I saw it:
Yes folks, I am engaged. I teared up and was speechless for about 20 minutes, and those of you who know me personally know that doesn't happen very often. Apparently Jesse had been carrying the ring around for about a month, "chickening out" every time he worked up the nerve to ask. "What if he says no? What if it's too soon?" were some of the reasons he mentioned. He'd talked to many of my friends about it already, and some had already seen the ring. (I will be continuing the witch hunt, so fear not...I'll deal with YOU all later. ;)
He called Jesse, my oldest friend, to ask permission. He'd been trying to get my sister's info but, being unaware as I was, I kept forgetting to send her "emergency contact info in case anything ever happened." We took care of that on Saturday, when he met her via webcam. "Are you sure you WANT to marry him," she asked? Thanks, sis. She told him to keep me in line (yeah, right), and that the only other condition was that he had to be a Harry Potter fan...and read all the books.
Yes, we're acting like the lesbian stereotype, but we're also not racing to set a date. Yes, it's still not legal in Wyoming, but who knows what could happen in just a year or two? I'm sure I'll keep everyone posted about plans, but it might be a while. We're not looking to "get hitched" tomorrow, so everyone take a deep breath; we'll get there. Relationships are a marathon, not a sprint.
I am obscenely happy and giddy and such, as is to be expected. How many times have I said on a panel "Always a bridesmaid, never a bride." Well, I might not be a bride per se, but I am engaged to a wonderful man I want by my side for the rest of my life. I've been jokingly saying "Fuck you California, we're doing it anyway!" But know this isn't a joke to me, or something I(/we) are taking lightly. We love each other, we're committed to each other, and we're making that formal.

Monday, November 03, 2008

One more day...

I know, I'm sick of election crap too. But it's important. We all have the right to use our discretion and make our voices heard. That's something not all countries can say, and that means it's that much more important that we exercise our right to vote. I think it's clear who I'm casting my ballot for tomorrow, but that's not what this is about.

Whether you're a Democrat, a Republican, an Independent, or something somewhere in between, get off your ass and vote. Tomorrow we get to pick a leader. We get to select the direction of our nation for the next 4 years. As a key player in global society, we are influencing the direction of the entire world for years to come. That's an awesome privilege, and we owe it to the future to cast our votes and stand up to be counted.

We will also vote for our local representatives. And ballot initiatives. And referendums. And optional taxes. This is our chance to set our own course. Vote tomorrow, or forever quit your bitching because you don't like what happened when you had something better to do.

Vote your conscience tomorrow, but for fuck's sake...