Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Go West Young Nerd

We salute our Locutus of Blog, Abra, as she joins the ranks of the graduated and begins her life in Seattle. We send her off with open hearts and our warmest of wishes. Take luck and enjoy your adventures, NerdyGirl, but remember we are only a blog post away.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

The Pride Recap

As some of you are aware, as Empress of Gayness for Wyoming I felt it my duty to represent Laramie properly at Pride last weekend. Here's a quick recap of the weekend.


  • Heard from Scott: he couldn't go along, as work wouldn't let him off. Decided to go alone after all, as I needed to get the hell out of town before I killed someone.
  • Drop puppies off at the vet's for shots and boarding at 10am Leave town by 10:30am
  • Get stuck in construction/accident traffic south of Cheyenne. Don't care, as the mood is already lightened and the gay dance music is blasting. Roll down windows and open sunroof to work on tan and enjoy fresh air while parked for 30 minutes on I-25
  • Some new clothes, which were needed anyway, on the way south
  • Arrival at Jerry's condo at 2pm- cute place. Made myself a cosmo while waiting for the "girls" to show up.
  • Jerry and Chuck showed up, and we went out to the pool with their neighbors Mary and Megan. Drinking commenced poolside at about 2:30pm - frozen cosmos! We finished off a new bucket easily.
  • Ed and Shawn arrived about 4pm
  • 5pm: Change of clothes, and off to dinner - a faboo Mexican restaurant. Margaritas may have been involved.
  • Off to BJ's Carousel, a bar that was featuring some scary drag. Long Beach Iced Tea's were involved. After 30 minutes of scary drag, we left.
  • On to the Wrangler - Free drinks from 10-11pm if you took off your shirt. I happily paid for my drinks.
  • Needless to say, I was blissfully intoxicated by this point. Something may have happened on the patio, but none of the bitches who are aware will say shit, right? like my house and my bar. And you fear me.
  • Quick Charlie's! There we met up with more of the Laramie crew. More Long Beaches. And Jemai, a gorgeous black man who flirted shamelessly with most of us. And unexepectedly bit my nipple - hard. OUCH. I don't like pain. It hurts me. I did, however, like Jemai. ;)
  • The bar closed at about 2am, and Travis drove me back "home." 12 hours of drinking. Woohoo!


  • Wake up way too early. 3-4 hours of sleep is NOT enough, even at the tender age of 29.
  • Drive my sleepy self near the park to watch the parade with Jerry and Chuck. We had viewing stands. And mimosas.
  • Walk behind the parade and meet up with most everyone at some point.
  • Damn it's hot. Walk around looking at booths and all the men running around in next to nothing. Tasty!
  • Wander over for lunch at Subway on the 16th street mall and a nice cold (and coffee-laden) Charbucks Frapaccino.
  • A bit more wandering, then the loooooong walk back to the car. Exhaustion + heat = sleepy. Drive self back to condo.
  • Meet back up with Mary, Chuck, Jerry, and Shawn for more pool fun. No cocktails. Yet.
  • It starts to rain late in the afternoon, so we went inside and watched a movie. Well, I watched one while everyone else drifted in and out of naps.
  • Everyone leaves. Shawn and I decide we're going out again, so it's off to dinner at the Hard Rock. Drinks called a "Purple Haze" were involved. Yummy stuff!
  • To Charlie's, to meet up with Robert and Joey from Gillette. Travis and everyone else from Laramie wussed out on us.
  • Meet up with a blast from Laramie. He was creepy up here, and was creepy while drunk in Denver. He also played with my nipples. What is it about Charlie's?
  • Meet fun people from Casper. Head to Tracks. Discover (after we're inside and had paid the cover) that it was "Chocolate Sunday." In other words, we were some of the few white people there.
  • Meet up with other folks from Laramie. Dance our asses off. Marathon style. Went up on the stage, even. I got complimented twice for my dancing. I was surprised, but quite pleased. Much dirty dancing went on. As did a fair amount of drinking.
  • Closed the bar. Gabbed in the parking lot with our new friends from the club for a while.
  • Shawn and I drove back to the condo, where we crashed out hardcore.


  • Wake up about 8:30am. Had more sleep, but still not a lot.
  • Meet Travis and Jason at the drag store at 10am.
  • Spend 2 hours and $200 on shoes, a wig, a corset, stockings, and a hat. Had a blast.
  • Drive back to Laramie.
  • Pick up puppies from the vet. $180, most of which was shots and vet checkup, not the boarding.
  • Drop off puppies and luggage at home. Drive to Family Planning. Put on shoes to show of the new goodies. Fall down. Dammit.
  • Go back home, cook dinner, watch a little TV. Catch up on the 200 emails I didn't check over the weekend. Go to bed. PASS OUT.

Friday, June 24, 2005

By request

Here you go Snakehead. A picture of California, even! This is a rendering of the view from the back deck of the condo in Laguna Niguel, where we stayed on vacation last summer. One from San Diego might be next.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Consciousness Purge

Some times you just feel lost, even when you're found. That's been the case for me lately. I go to work and I know I'm just going through the motions. I can't find motivation to move onto the next project. I go home, and nothing is different. I feel lonely, even when I'm not alone. That age is approaching. We joke about it, but have I accomplished what I should have by now? Am I where I should be? Am I where I want to be? I'm still single. My longest relationship is still only a month and half. Not for a lack of trying. Those I'm interested in aren't single. Not that I'm in their league anyway. I didn't want to get out of bed this morning. Or at least I wanted to go back to bed when I was awake. I can't force myself to do yardwork to save my soul. I know I'd like to see it done, but I can't find the motivation to do it. I don't feel mired down in depression or pity. I just feel...anxious. Like I'm in a zone of surrealism. Absurdity. Pointlessness. Confusion, perhaps? I want a vacation. But can't afford one. Time is passing slowly today; it's going to be a long day, no doubt. It's official. An acute case of the blahs.

Monday, June 20, 2005


Yesterday the lawn care commandos mobilized at Ruby Slippers and beat the yard into a better condition. Mark and Linus attacked the trees with fervor, and they look much better now! Two truckloads of limbs to the city brush pile later, even. Abra and Tessa pulled weeds, re-caulked the bathtub, and played with round-up. I raked for 2 hours, pulled weeds, and hauled branches to the brush pile. Though she was late due to family obligations, Mandy showed up and helped tidy up the aftermath. All in all, it was a good day, and a fair chunk of necessary yard work was accomplished. There is still plenty to be done, but I wanted to say thanks (publicly) to my fabulous friends for helping out. And I also wanted to share a faboo picture I got today. I think it will make the flock smile. It's a photo of our old "friend" Fred Phelps. Enjoy!

Monday, June 13, 2005

The Interview Game

Here are The Official Interview Game Rules:
  1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying "interview me."
  2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person's will be different.
  3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
  4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
  5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Questions Linus asked me:

1) Turbo and Reese suddenly develop the ability to talk. What secrets are you most worried that they will tell someone?
Hmm...I think I'd be more worried they'd start describing those things they've seen that people already suspect. What happens when the lights go out, things like that.

2) If you had to pick only one for the rest of your life, would it be Margarita or Mojito?
Mojitos. They seem to be much more gay, and are sweeter. Besides, NerdyGirl would prefer my southern accent being triggered rather than the invocation of Lupe.

3) It starts raining men. How do you collect as many as possible?
Well, the ones in the back yard should be pretty much contained. Open the windows to the hot tub gazebo and let a few angle into the bubbly water. And corral the ones that run off the roof and down the front drain. Bottom line: keep 'em in the house...where ya want 'em most!

4) You awake to find that the domain merge has only been a dream - it is actually scheduled to begin tomorrow. What do you do?
Call in sick and begin drinking heavily. Then go back to bed.

5) You are asked to join the team on Queer Eye - what is your area of expertise? Social awareness? Sense of humor? Lechery?

Sunday, June 12, 2005

What's gayer than...

A canine birthday party...for a pug? Well, it's even gayer when you add 4 dachshunds, of course! And cocktails. And several new (and VERY gay) doggie outfits. My gift was a black doggie tee with rhinestones that formed a dogbone around the words "Bling Bling." Tres gay, and tres Bailey. OK, tres Josh and Randy, who are two queens extraordinaire.