Last week I was standing in Safeway waiting as the cashiers
worked their way through lines of people.
This left me with some time for one of my favorite pastimes: people
watching! An older woman came along and offered
a few “excuse me’s” as she waded through the line waiters. She eyed me and said “you seem to be the
tallest person here…could you reach something for me?” I smiled and helped her out happily…even I
had to stand on my tiptoes to reach the last jars of parmesan on the back of
the top shelf. I love it when the
universe brightens my day by giving me a chance to brighten someone else’s.
Because it was busy, the customers in the next lane were
only a few feet away. I noticed a woman
and her son next to me, and she seemed to be looking for ways to pass the time
as well. She sent her son on a mission
to get a box of Ramen Noodles and, as he took off in a flash, muttered under
her breath “and then I’ll think of something else for you to go get.” I couldn’t help but chuckle, and she quickly
realized someone had been paying attention.
She smiled sheepishly at me, and it was clear she just needed a
parenting break. I winked and said “I
laugh because it’s the ghost of Christmas future for me…my daughter will be one
in a few weeks, and there are already times I use tricks like that.” She smiled back…and then I saw a light bulb
go on over her head. “That’s where I
know you from!”
Phrases like that still sometimes stop me in my tracks. I never know what words will follow. Where will this conversation go? Will it be someone whose password I reset
back when I worked in IT? Will it be
someone who saw the article in the Casper paper last year who thinks I need to
be saved from my heathen ways? Will this
person accost me or welcome me? I haven’t
yet encountered someone making hurtful comments about my daughter or my being a
parent, and I’m not sure I will be able to respond with my usual grace and
civility. My mom was something of a
momma grizzly bear, and I know it’s genetic.
“You spoke to my social work class last year.” I nodded, still unsure. Then came her excited smile, and “how is
fatherhood going for you? When you were
there, she wasn’t here yet!” We chatted
for a bit and I gushed predictably about her smile, her eyes, the joys, and so
on. “Every time I see something on the
news about gay rights or court cases, I think about YOU.” My breath caught for a second time, but this
time I knew why. “I hope that the
adoption process goes well for you, and that things change and get easier soon.” I gave her a thank you, and told her that it
meant a great deal to hear that. As I
left the store, I took a deep breath and smiled. Then it was my turn to mutter under my
breath: “Message received.”
Next week we have a meeting with the lawyer to get
everything going in full swing. We don’t
expect problems, but until that paper is in my hand saying it’s a done deal, I
will be nervous. Scared. Uncertain of the outcome. Just as I was when my Safeway stranger recognized
me. I just have to do what I always try
to: do what’s right, share my heart and my story, and live from a place of
love. I have to trust that it will touch
hearts and that our love and commitment will be apparent to a judge as well as
social work students.
Maybe it was a message from my mom. Maybe it was just random coincidence. One way or another, the universe gave me exactly
what I needed. It reminded me that
living my life the way I have has brought amazing people into my life, and sometimes
those people are strangers. It reminded
me that the Universe really will provide, and that everything happens for a
reason. I’m SO glad that I grabbed that
cheese from the top shelf. I needed a
little instant karma. As I often tell
others: “left foot, right foot…repeat as needed.”
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