Friday, June 09, 2006

A lesson about long distance

As many of my readers know, I was expecting to have a weekend with my boyfriend this weekend. A full weekend even...not just an overnight trip from Saturday evening to Sunday morning. And I was really looking forward to it.

So the boyfriend cannot come to town this weekend after all. He has to stay in Denver and help some of his groups get ready for Pride - making floats, etc. Needless to say I was a bit...disappointed. Fortunately I have a few friends in long distance relationships, so this was not a total surprise. I've watched them struggle with last minute problems, delays, etc. So I thought I would share the pearl of wisdom that is helping me get through my displeasure.

Remember that when dealing with friends, significant others, etc. who are a distance away, stuff will happen. There will be times when the universe aligns and prevents plans. It's nobody's fault. It doesn't mean they don't WANT to be together with you. It doesn't mean "something better came along." Sometimes, life gets in the way.

I'm reminding myself (continually, until my heart believes what my head knows) that we still love each other. That this wasn't a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. We're going to be together for a while, and there will be other weekends for him to come up here. More chances down the road to be together. I'm sad and he feels guilty. Neither of these is overly productive, though they are real and honest and we must accept them. Own them, if you will. As someone I once knew used to say "Bless it and release it."

And now I start thinking about mowing the lawn, washing the car, etc. on a weekend that is suddenly (and sadly) more open.

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