Date #4

So it's been a busy week. Since my last post, there have been 2 more dates, two trips to Rendezvous, an interview with NBC Nightly News online (to run in Oct), and another day of moving.

Work is continuing and is going well, though I'm working my tail off and struggling to learn SO much SO quickly. I do love a challenge, though. We're gearing up for the start of semester, which means several training sessions on sexual harassment and other forms of discrimination.

I took Britt and Krystal up the mountain to see Jerry and Chuck for dinner on Tuesday, and we went up Saturday night as well. Good food, good friends, and campfire hijinks abound. I got to see several friends from Rendezvous past, and it was nice to catch up with some of the folks I don't see often.

NBC is putting together a story for the 10 year anniversary of Matt's murder. Rather than a 2 minute segment for NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams (who is funny and fairly yummy, by the way), they're working a longer piece for NBC Nightly Online. It won't run until October, so don't start googling yet. I'll post links and such when it goes live. :) People is working on a story already, as is the Boomerang. I have no doubt that more will follow soon. *sigh* Here I go again as the poster queen for Wyoming.

Now to the good stuff....the boy. Things are going well enough that I now feel comfortable revealing the secret identity of "my man" (for lack of a better or more official term). Some of you might know Jesse Taylor. He's an SAE, an anthro major, and is 29 years old. Yes...an adult! Date #2 was jazz night followed by karaoke. He endured the first "public" date well, and Britt, Krystal, Nell, Jess, Andrew, and Tamara all got to meet him (again, in some cases). It was REALLY nice being able to hold hands with someone in public.

Date #3 was yesterday. He came over around 2:30 and spent the afternoon cooking dinner for us. Yes, he can cook. Very well. Brought some fresh treats from his garden too. We ate on the back porch. Table cloth, formal place setting...the works. He cleaned the kitchen as he went too, earning major brownie points. We spent the day watching the Olympics, talking, learning more about each other, and cuddling on the couch. We've got SO much in common, and so far are getting along swimmingly. Date #4 is tonight. For those keeping score at home, this is 4 dates in a week. That might be more than I've had in the last 2 YEARS. So yeah, I'm grinning like an idiot.

So there's the update on my life, folks. I'm sure that soon I shall return to more ponderous subjects rather than trying to rely on book report-esque updates on my life. But many of you lurkers out there are starting to ask about the boy, so I thought it best to cut y'all off at the pass. More later....

Shit...that may have been a date!

I don't know how it happened. I wasn't looking for it, to be sure. But then again, that's when everyone says it's supposed to happen. Hell, that's when I've said it's supposed to happen. It all started Friday night...

I was dragged, kicking and screaming of course, out on the town Friday. We were supposed to wander around the Farmer's Market, pick up ingredients for dinner, and then go to someone's place to cook. Naturally since there are several fine establishments downtown, we'd stop in for a happy hour along the way. As per usual, plans quickly shifted, and after the happy hour we went to Altitude's for dinner.

Later that evening, we hit the Buckhorn for one drink. Then Tommy's for a martini. By this time, some of us were decidedly intoxi-fi-mi-cated. I know...shocking, right? The group split and I diligently followed my designated driver and crew to the 3rd Street Cowboy. Being the social butterfly that I am, I ran into several folks I know. Rob, Doug, and Devon. Todd. And someone I hadn't seen since a karaoke night a while back. Someone I've always thought was cute (we'll just call him J for now), but never gave me a second glance. Or so I thought. That's when I felt the pat on the ass. Or did I imagine it? I was pretty liquored by this point, after all. Maybe it's just my wishful thinking, imagination, or the large quantities of vodka.

Half my crew went out to the patio, and soon J was there too. And we talked. And flirted a bit. And texted. We both agreed that we were interested, but wanted to be adult and find out what the expectations were for each other. And that it was a conversation best held when less tanked. So I was told to call him on Saturday, and we parted. (And texted more before finally giving in to booze and exhaustion and sleeping.) All in all, a great night.

Saturday ended up dedicated to manual labor, in the form of moving a friend into a new apartment. Hot, sticky, sweaty, and sore. Needless to say I didn't get a phone call made. But I did get a text sent off Sunday morning. Which Verizon decided not to deliver. *grumble* So I called Monday evening, and after several rings J picked up. He was on his way to a poker tournament at Altitudes, and invited me to come. I deferred, as poker's not really my thing. I've played before and can have a lot of fun, but organized, public poker? Not so much. I told him to call me when got done.

And so it was that at 8:30pm on Monday, my phone rang. And I agreed to go out for dinner and a drink at Chili's. As I walked out the door I realized...shit...this might be a date! Am I ready to date? Am I wanting to date? What does he want? What do I want? SHIT SHIT SHIT. I activated a phone tree or two to obtain any info my spies might have about J, just to make sure there wasn't some history of mental illness, dickishness, or a secret boyfriend I didn't know about. Green light on all counts. So there I was, getting into a car, headed for a date (or at least pre-date), with no real notice/planning/preparation. SHIT SHIT SHIT. Inhale, exhale, repeat as needed.

We had a great time at dinner. Talked for an hour and half. Laughed. Found a lot in common. Smiled a lot. And went to the Library for a night cap, as neither of us was quite ready for the night to end. We talked some more, and laughed some more, and found more in common. And had a great night. I'm heading up the mountain tonight to have dinner with Chuck and Jerry, but think I'll have an escort to Jazz Night for tomorrow. And at midnight when this Cinder-fella turned into a pumpkin, there was a good night kiss. A good one. And then another.

As I was in bed ready to fall asleep last night, we texted a bit more. And will be talking more. As I woke up this morning I realized: yup, that was a date. How in the hell did that happen? But I'm glad it did. We'll see where this goes. I'll keep you all posted, though remember: patience is a virtue. I'm not posting his name to 1) protect his privacy and 2) to avoid jinxing something that could become something. Ladies and gentlemen...please hold on to the bar.

Um, what happened to summer?

It's August now. In 25 days I'll be celebrating my 5th annual 29th birthday. My question is: what the hell happened to summer? June disappeared in a flurry of doing everything I could while leaving the old job and racing to get a handle on the new one. Pride rounded out the month, and then it was gone in a blink. July didn't last long either. There was the 4th and Craig's retirement party. Jubilee Days and the Brew Fest. And more work. I've had no camping trips, no BBQ's...I'm not ready for school to start in just over 3 weeks!

In other news...for the last few months Ruby Slippers has served as a shelter and refuge for wayward souls. As a result, I've drafted some "house rules." I recommend everyone do the same, especially if you often have visitors, houseguests, or long-term infestations of friends. Without further ado, I give you:

The Squatter's Guide to Ruby Slippers

1. If you turn it on, turn it off when you're done using it. Especially lights.
2. If you open it, close it. This includes food.
3. If you get it out, put it away.
4. If you spill it, clean it.
5. If you break it, please notify the management.
6. If you use it, replace what you can.
7. Help with groceries, cooking, and cleaning are greatly appreciated. You should at least clean up after yourself. Marti is the headliner, NOT the maid.

Happy Birthday

Today would have been my mother's 70th birthday had she not lost her battle with breast cancer July 4, 2002. This date doesn't usually bother me, but for some reason the round number 70 is a bit tough for me today. I'm missing her and her laugh. Her smile. Even her frustrated sigh.

Call someone you haven't spoken to in far too long to tell them how much you love them. Send a card to a relative just because. Do something fun you've been putting off. It's worth it.

A month later...

So I've been in the new job for just over a month now. It's taken Tracey (my cohort in office crime) and me this long just to sort through the files, organize the paperwork, and figure out where in the hell everything is supposed to be. And what to do with it. It's been an adventure, but we're getting there.

We're starting to get serious about work on some of our new projects. Diversity training, for starters. And we're working on an announcement of a partnership with 4 of the country's Historically Black Colleges and Universities (HBCU's). I've been working on compiling information about the over 100 HBCU's for a week, and finished it up last week. I also dug in and figured out another part of the new software program we use to track EEO data. Yeah, I'm feeling like a rock star there.

Soon there will be the start of school...and a few large annual reports to the EEOC. You know, nothing major. Just an analysis of the hiring for the last year, breaking down applicant info by race and sex. By department. And the last round of academic hiring paperwork. Just in time to start sexual harassment training for supervisors. So yeah...it's gonna be a busy year at work.

But we're having fun doing it. And I'm doing my best to enjoy the summer. Jazz nights at the Cavalryman. Happy hour on Fridays with friends. A BBQ here and a concert there.

A quick list of more Jim's Good Gay News:

• C(raig) is now officially out of the military. And gay.
• On Independence Day, we were set free. From Jesse Helms. I don't revel in his death, but I didn't cry either. At all.
• This week Massachusetts may repeal the 1913 law that prevented non-resident couples from getting married. This would help couples in New York and is another step toward equality.
• Bishop Gene Robinson is going to crash the Lambeth conference...in the most polite and respectful way possible. He's taking a stand for GLBTQ people of faith. And will probably have to wear a bulletproof vest the whole time, like he did for his consecration. How's that for Christian love? But still he loves on...

False advertising

This morning as I was driving to work, I followed a car onto the Interstate. One of their bumper stickers caught my eye, and I had to share. The sticker was a fairly plain white background with pretty rainbow lettering (hence catching my eye). It read "God chooses life." The irony washed over me, and it made me ponder how many people use words, phrases, and symbols without any realization of their meaning. I grant that we homos don't have a corner on the market when it comes to rainbows, but this particular sticker was quite the gay design. I wondered if the owner of the car would display the sticker if it read "God loves gays too." It gave me a snicker, at any rate. It also made me think about false advertising. Jesus loves you, but don't forget to check the fine print. Gay people are too promiscuous, but we don't want them get married either.

It reminded me of the many times someone has come up to me and commented on one of my bits of rainbow jewelry. "Oh how pretty! And it goes with EVERYTHING!" Often people use my jewelry as a way to identify themselves or show their support. While out having a night on the town with my new boss a few weeks ago, a girl saw my bracelet (Thanks Smith!) and simply said "Family? Me too!" Then there are the folks who have NO idea what the rainbow means. They just see it as pretty. My favorite is when they ask "Where can I get one?" I'm not saying gaydar is perfect, but I know I'm not THAT bad at spotting the cousins. My standard response is "I got this one in Denver/San Francisco/DC," which is true for most of my jewelry. Occasionally I have to explain further "at gay pride..." or "in the cutest little gay shop..." After all, I wouldn't want them advertising themselves in the wrong market. Well, maybe some of them... ;)

I'm also heading to Denver this weekend for two reasons. Squid and I are going to see the True Colors Concert at Red Rocks on Saturday. It's all about being yourself. We're also going down for C's retirement party. After 20 years in the military he can finally be himself. Yes, in a few days I will be able to post his full name without having to worry about turning him into a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" statistic. His family is going to be in town, as is his boyfriend's family. I certainly don't fault C for his own form of false advertising; it's been a necessity for him to finish his first career. I am still more than annoyed that it's even necessary, though. A threat to unit cohesion, they say. Didn't they also use that line when integrating the military too?

Who knew that a simple anti-abortion bumper sticker would connect my brain to DA:DT? Well, most who know me won't be surprised, but still...

Have a safe and fun 4th of July! And as I mention each year, cherish your loved ones. Mom died on July 4, 2002. She finally had her freedom after 2.5 years battling cancer, and my sister and I agree it couldn't have been more fitting. So tomorrow afternoon, send a little love out to the Universe in my mom's honor, and call those you love. TELL THEM!

Pride-tastic

Last weekend was Pride down in Denver. It meant 4 days of relaxing, cocktailing with friends, and steeping myself in pure gayness. 2 days by the pool. 1 day at the Pride Festival, dancing and seeing familiar faces. 3 nights going out on the town. All in all, a very good getaway weekend. It was nice not having to fight my boss for time off too. *evil grin*

Highlights:

• Seeing Romaine and meeting her partner and baby
• Getting to do a day of Pride with Mandy and Teel
• Lounging by the pool with Jerry, Adam, and Squiddy - it'd been too long
• Going out dancing with Adam and Squiddy
• As always, spending time with Scotty, Craig, and Kalley
• Getting drunk with Chad in Civic Center Park - and dancing about to Martha Walsh!
• Reconnecting with myself and remember why I do what I do
• Hearing that Denver now hosts the 7th largest Pride celebration in the country

We didn't go crazy like we have in the last two years, and that was just fine by me. Not everyone could be there, and though we missed some folks, we still had a blast. I feel like a person again. I had some down time from work that wasn't connected to a doctor's appointment, meeting, or conference. I got to stare at hoards of hunky men in very little clothing. I got to spend time with really good friends. I got my tan back. What more could a girl ask for?

And Squiddy and I will be heading down again for the 4th of July, as we have tickets to the True Colors Tour at Red Rocks. Look out kids, I'm gonna be at full gay strength again!

Happy Gay Marriage Day!

I had a phone call yesterday from my friend Rod in San Diego. He called me 16 minutes before most folks could get a license. It's a good day to be gay. I have to believe that the voters in California will have the sense NOT to vote for the amendment to the state constitution, and the marriages performed between today and election day will not be invalidated. Please please please.

I have also completed 7 days at my new job. All is going well. We're coping with a filing system that was...problematic. Even considering I've spent too much time coping with someone who didn't do anything for at least 6 months, I heart my new job. I already knew that I would love my new boss, Nell. My coworker Tracey is a hoot too, and I already knew her by virtue of her husband. We're rocking and rolling in the office. The files are almost done, and it's on to training development now.

In other words...life is good once again. MandyFish will be here tomorrow(ish), Pride is this weekend, and my gay batteries will soon be recharged fully. Who knew that June could bring such bliss!? The money crunch is on, but all else is "all speed ahead." I even got to help facilitate a SafeZone session tonight for a high school camp on campus. Bright kids with smart questions. There is once again hope for America, folks.

Yes, boys and girls...it's a good day in the Rainbow Kingdom.

Here we go!

Today is my last day at IT. I'm currently sitting in Orientation resetting passwords. Yesterday I got most of my office boxed and moved out. I've backed up my computer, exported my iTunes purchases, and copied all my IT files to a server where my coworkers can access them. I've done everything I can do to get them ahead, and most things are done up through the middle of August. In short, I'm all set to go today.

Earlier this week I had dinner with my new boss, Nell. For 4.5 hours. We had a ball, and talked about some of the things we'd like to do, changes that need to happen, and where to begin. I'm just getting more and more excited about the job and the challenges it will bring. We're going to be doing a heck of a lot. As Nell put it, we're gonna be shakin' and bakin'.

I'm REALLY looking forward to new adventures, and I can't wait to share them with all of you! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Empress Airlines flight 201 with service to the 4th floor of Old Main and continuing on to the future. Please fasten your seatbelts in preparation for take off, and make sure your tray tables and seat backs are in their full upright and locked position. We hope you'll sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight. We know our flight crew will.

Life updates

• I have 3 days, 2 hours, and 55 minutes left with IT. But who's counting? This week is doing its best to crush my soul, largely due to Orientation and trying to organize my office, files, etc. Oh yeah...and pack 12.5 years worth of crap. I'm refusing to give in. My office aide is helping with this greatly. She's treating this like Hanukkah, and I'm getting little gifts and surprises every day. Janet doth rock!
• I'm already getting email requests for my new job, though I have no idea what to do with them. Nell (my new boss) assures me they will wait until Monday, and I'll know what to do with them soon enough. I'm not used to not knowing things, but I'm looking forward to the learning curve. I'm sick like that.
• I am currently without TV. It seems my Dish Network receiver has had a hard drive failure that can't be fixed. They're sending me a replacement that should arrive no later than Thursday. It's one thing to be without current shows. What has me fuming (and sobbing) is the loss of some of the shows I had saved long term. In addition to the last few episodes of various series I watch, I'm losing some of the documentaries and news specials about Matt. Things I can't replace.
• Summer is underway, and I finally believe we might just possibly perhaps be beyond the days of snow. I won't swear to it, but I'm crossing my fingers. The yard got its first mowing of the season (thanks Squiddy!), and I'm wearing sandals again. A little more sun and I'll be able to wear shorts with more confidence.
• Pride is just around the corner. So are the summer camping trips. And the True Colors concert at Red Rocks on July 5th. With the new job, I must just get to have a social life this summer.

These are the important updates I can think of.

Ch- ch- ch- changes...

As some of you are aware, I recently applied for a new job as the Assistant to the Associate Vice President for Diversity at the University of Wyoming. This morning I was offered and accepted the position, and will begin my new job on June 9th. I admit to being a bit nervous as I have worked at Information Technology for the last 12.5 years, and have only worked here since my sophomore year of college. At the same time, I'm VERY excited about about this new direction in my life.
My new position will involve assisting with diversity training, committee work, and helping with diversity efforts on campus. This is the next step in making my passion my profession, and I'm looking forward to it! This is all happening very quickly, and there will be a decent learning curve for me. I'm leaving today at 12:30pm for a long Memorial Day weekend in Denver, and am so glad to have something to celebrate in addition to taking some much-needed down time. My email address and cell phone number will not be changing. I'm going to be very busy over the next while, first in trying to make things as easy on IT as possible and then in trying to learn a brand new job. Thanks for your patience if I'm less available for a bit. ;) And thanks for the love and support so many of you have given over the last few months. You all mean the world to me, and I can't wait to share with you all the new adventures down the road.

Today's lesson - if you do something you love, you'll never work a day in your life. (Yeah, it's not a BGJ original, but fits nicely, I think.)

Highs and lows

I've often heard life described as a roller coaster. Sometimes it feels more like a helicopter, shooting up and down without much forward motion. I had several posts floating in my brain, and most of them are positive. Then I opened my news today and wanted to cry. All of the posts are timely, so here's a quick summary:

• Milestones: I recently hit 300 posts (this is #302). It's a fun milestone, and I hope everyone has enjoyed reading my thoughts, rants, and adventures as much as I've enjoyed posting them. Thinking about my posts has taught me a great deal about life and myself, and I hope some of the "lessons" have applied to you all as well. Comment more often, so I know what you're thinking too!
• Speak up, speak out: The Diversity Summit on Monday went well, I think. 85 people sat in a room for 6 hours for the first annual President's Diversity Summit. There were students, staff, faculty, and administrators. I've not heard any negative feedback, but there are a few folks I want to specifically ask. If nothing else, I think we got people talking, and that was the most important part to us.
• The future's so bright: I went and spoke to a group of students at the high school yesterday. I think it went well, and I managed to keep around 8 teenagers engaged and talking for 90 minutes. Who knew?! Straight kids, not so straight kids. Allies and a Christian student who didn't really know what to expect but wanted to learn more and have a conversation. The high school GSA is going to meet with the Fellowship of Christian Athletes before the semester is out. Talking with them made it clear that there's hope. They're far more socially conscious than most adults, and only two of them had ever HEARD of the game "Smear the Queer." Change works!
• The weather fits my mood: After a few days of tantalizingly warm and sunny weather, the clouds are rolling in again. The same is true of my mood today. The Michigan Supreme Court ruled yesterday that because of the same sex marriage bans, governments and universities in the state are not ALLOWED to offer domestic partner benefits. Apparently it's not enough to keep us locked out of the chapel of love. On the off chance the dirty homo's can convince a government to treat them fairly and equally, we'll sneak it into the law. Not overly fair since the supporters of the ban specifically told voters they were only trying to prevent marriage, not benefits. There could be a federal appeal, but it's a huge step backwards. Any bets on whether the Republicans will use the term "activist judges" when the decision goes "their way?"

Today's lesson: The journey is never done, and whether it's a roller coaster, a rocket ship, or a helicopter, hold on and enjoy the ride.

Just a few more days

That's do-able, right? I know that students are in the throes of Finals stress. Papers, tests, projects, presentations. Staff on campus feel this same stress. Partly because students have a tendency to scream at us as a result of their stress.

My life is no different right now. I just finished up with AIDS Walk and Drag Queen Bingo. There's still a fair amount of paperwork to do for that, and last night I made the final arrangements for the board's "thank you" dinner for Monday. Today I have at least a 3 hour meeting for PACMWA. We're deciding how to give out almost $40,000 today. As chair, I'm running the meeting, and have spent the last week processing and reviewing grant applications.

Monday is the President's Diversity Summit, which I'm also planning. The facilitator flies in on Sunday. The RSVP list is at 75. It was originally supposed to be about 50 people. I'm expecting 85 by the time we're done. We've had to change dates 3 times. The catering is ordered, the A/V arrangements have been made, the rooms are reserved, and I think we've thought of everything. I have to print the handouts and coordinate name tags with the President's Office. While I'm excited about the event and the chance to get so many important people at the table to talk about diversity, I'm ready for the semester to be D-O-N-E, done.

There are a few other irons in the fire causing me extra work and stress right now, but for the moment I have to keep my cards close. More info will be coming soon, I promise. Add to this a host of friends with stress and drama in their lives who have turned to me for help, a stack of housework, back problems, and perpetual singehood, and you have a recipe for a nervous breakdown. Fortunately, I have amazing friends who remind me of my own advice: left foot, right foot, repeat as needed.

The point of all this: there are just a few more days until the worst of my stress is behind me. The trick is to break it down into parts. Focus on the first step. Worry about left foot first. Right foot can come tomorrow. You don't have to do it all at once.

Milestones

Well, I'm mostly back among the land of the living, so it's time for an update on AIDS Walk. My feet are still in a lot of pain, and have large deep tissue blisters. 6 inch heels will do that to you when you stand on your feet for 5 hours one night and turn around and do another 3 hours the next morning. The new corset did its job well, though some of the boning poked through fabric. The puncture marks and cuts are healing nicely, and aren't infected. As Livi said, "if you have to suffer for beauty, then we must be gorgeous!"

But none of that is what's really important, is it? What's important is that we raised over $20,000 on Saturday. This means we've raised more than $100,000 since the Walk was created 7 years ago. What's important is that bingo was packed to standing room only, and that people donated $4300 in 4 hours. What's important is that we can continue to support people living in the state with HIV, and that we can help make life a little bit easier for our fellow citizens.

What's most important are the hearts and minds we touched. The 100 HIV tests we did at the clinic. Getting new people signed up for assistance through the state and federal programs. Getting representatives from the state government involved to help spread the word throughout the next year. Making people aware that HIV is in Wyoming, and that people need to protect themselves.

Today's lesson: Making a difference is worth a few blisters and open wounds. Go do it!

Stamp out stigma!

It's here - AIDS Walk Week, that is. The walk is Saturday, and registration opens at 9am in the Union . The opening ceremonies kick off at 11am, including our keynote speaker Secretary of State Max Maxfield. Drag Queen Bingo is back again too; this year we're out at the HoJo and the doors open at 6pm - the show starts at 7pm.

This means it's time to shave my...everything...again. You don't fully appreciate the social stigma against women and hair until you find yourself shaving your toes and the tops of your feet. I've been making new jewely all week too. Raising pledges. Collecting prizes. Meeting after meeting. Hanging dresses. Learning new numbers and developing a choreography plan. Charging walkie talkies. So much to do, and so little time to do it!

There is a huge amount of time and energy that goes into making something like AIDS Walk happen. And truth be told, it's an honor to go through the extra work and stress. It feels good to make a difference in the lives of people I know and total strangers. There's a definite thrill that comes from seeing the final tally at the end of the walk and knowing that it was all worth while.

This is something important, not only to me but to those I care about. It's something I've been connected to and affected by for a long time. I remember the first paper I wrote about AIDS, back in 9th grade. (First person to do the math and mention the year gets their head shaved!) I remember being trained as a peer educator and counselor when I was a senior. My mom had to sign a special permission slip, because we were going to talk about condoms. That's where I met someone who was HIV positive for the first time.

Today I have several folks in my life who are HIV positive. Heidi and Isaac - our keynote speakers for the walk, times 2. Bob - my drag mother and hero. Robert - one of my favorite bartenders in Denver. Walt - a former coworker. Jason - one of the founders of AIDS Walk. The two Mary's - amazing women I met through AIDS Walk. The list goes on, and these are the people who are open about their sero-status.

There are also a whole host of people I know and care about who are not or cannot be open about their HIV or AIDS. Some of them are newly diagnosed. Some of them have known for a few years. Some of them contracted it because a partner cheated on them and brought it home. Some of them had unsafe sex knowingly, while others had a condom break. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter how, when, or why they were infected - they were, and there's some serious stigma out there that goes with a positive test.

Some worry about losing their job, though it's illegal to fire someone because they're positive. It would still mean a lengthy, costly, and public fight to try to keep it. Some worry about losing family and friends, though some already have. The looks, the stares, the whispers...that's all stigma. You'd think that in 2008, knowing what we do about the disease and how it's transmitted, that we wouldn't have to deal with bias like this. But we do, and that's the theme of this year's walk: "Be a friend, not afraid. Stamp out stigma."

Please join me on campus for the walk. Please come to bingo, or the "There's Got to be a Morning After" Drag Brunch at the Cavalryman on Sunday from 11am to 2pm. If you're already booked, that's okay. Perhaps you could sponsor me by pledging a donation to the walk. If nothing else, please take a moment to examine your own hearts and minds. People who are HIV+ aren't bad people, and they don't deserve scorn, ridicule, or harassment.

To learn more about HIV in Wyoming and around the world, watch this video I put together for last year's walk. It's about 13 minutes long and will probably make you cry, but it's far too important that we learn to respect ourselves and protect ourselves...and help those in need. (http://students.uwyo.edu/jimosbrn/aids.htm)

Today's lesson: People are people. Period. Treat them as such. Period.

The Adventures of Hooker Dream and Slut Magic

One of my friends is having some serious relationship problems. He and his partner are needing to take a step away, create some space to make decisions, talk things through, etc. Last night he showed up at the house and is staying with me for a few days. Some of our mutual friends have commented "you're such a good friend." He's thanked me profusely and it got me thinking - what about this is so out of the ordinary?

It's certainly not the first time my house has been a shelter/hostel/time out/safe space. When my sister's first engagement went south in a hurry and she had to get out of her apartment, she moved into mine. MandyFish and Nerdy have crashed at Ruby Slippers before. Levi (and sometimes Gretchen) lived with me for over a year! And several others have been on the "I might show up" list over the years. I can't imagine ever telling members of "my family" that they couldn't stay with me when they hit rough times. Everyone deserves a place to feel safe. Period.

That being said, I know not everyone is in a place where they could do something like this. Some wouldn't want to be near to potential drama. Some don't have the space. No doubt there will be challenges and it'll be a strain from time to time. To me, that's called life. I grew up with next to nothing but was always taught to share what you have and do what you can. Whether it's for friends, family, or strangers. Helping people when you can is what it's all about, right?

Last night my temporary roomie announced that we needed nicknames. I shall be known as Hooker Dream and he shall be called Slut Magic. No particular reason or story, just something fun in the face of something that isn't. I'm sure the adventures shall commence forthwith, and there will be laughing, learning, and crying. It's what I like to call life. People are messy sometimes, and life certainly is.

Today's lesson(s): Do what you can for others in need, whatever that might be. Do what's right, not what's easiest. And remember to find humor anytime and place you can. The good times wouldn't feel so good if we didn't also feel the lows once in a while.

A fab gay post coming soon

Hello faithful reader...or random strangers. There is an inspiring, motivating, and giddy post coming about the Bear Dinner very soon. I had planned to type it up tonight, but I'm tired. The Squid and I were in the car at 5:05am today, after a fantastic weekend! Another low-key tame weekend centered around an amazing event for an amazing cause. So many stories, but they shall have to wait.

287 was open this morning, so we snuck in while the rest of the roads were closed. I was at work on time, and spent my lunch hour at the new clinic location for Laramie Reproductive Health. The move happened this weekend and we open back up tomorrow. It looks amazing. I hung a few posters and put a few boxes worth of meds in the closet.

Back for another 4.5 hours of work. I did steal the time for a quick dinner before going to the AIDS Walk Meeting. Back to the clinic to make sure they were done and didn't need more help. Fortunately, they accomplished the impossible today, and it's ready to go! So I carried all the luggage in to discover Turbo is sick.

Puppy laundry, dinner, baths...then I can unpack. Who knows...I might even get to do my own laundry yet tonight. So...the inspired, passionate post will have to ferment in my brain a little longer. In the mean time:

We are home safe. The dinner was incredible. Exciting things are going to happen. More info soon.

Today's lesson: Know when to stop. Take a moment for yourself. Breathe. Not everything has to happen at once. There's a lot to do this time of year. Pace yourself. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Breathe again. Repeat as necessary.

Dancing with a Voluptuous Star

Okay, I admit I delayed posting this to give my Barack Obama post some extra airtime. It was a serious post, but now it's back to gay gushing!

The latest season of Dancing with the Stars started on St. Patty's day. The uber-queen in me goes giddy for the sequins, tuxes, and almost over-the-top costumes. The amateur dancer in me wants to cha cha and foxtrot for a crowd, especially with a studly professional wearing the yummiest of outfits. When they announced the new cast, I knew I was hooked and that this season is likely to be pure candy for me.

Extra hunky men. Iconic women. And a few twists, that make me want to kiss ABC. They've been fabulous in the past, hosting men and women of all ages. From Jerry Springer to Jane Seymour, and Scary Spice to Mario Lopez. They've included people of color, athletes, actresses, and Hollywood icons. I was floored when Heather Mills, who wears a prosthetic leg, did a cartwheel. I was just as impressed when she fell on a different night, and not only got back up and finished like a champ but came back with renewed determination.

This season, as hot as some of the male celebs might be, my out of the gate favorites are some of the ladies. What gay man could resist rooting for a figure skating legend like Kristi Yamaguchi? I have long been a fan of Marlee Matlin, and have huge respect for the brass she's shown. I am going to LOVE watching her push herself and adapt to music she can't hear, and laughing at her AMAZING sense of humor. I can't imagine trying to dance by the feel of the beat and the count alone. And then there's Marissa Jaret Winokur.

She's best known for her Tony award-winning performance as the curvy and bossomy Tracy Turnblad in Hairspray on Broadway. She's now taking to the ballroom. She's the shortest contestant in the show's history, not even reaching five feet tall. She's also the biggest gal in six seasons, and they couldn't have picked a better rep for the bigger girls. She makes no apologies about her size, and expects none from someone who notes her girth. "It's just the way my body is, and that's okay." She quips "I'm here to represent all the girls who aren't a size 2!" And she does it with SUCH personality, energy, and heart. You can't help but love her!

She represents part of what has been missing on TV and in the media. She's a regular woman, who doesn't starve herself to fit into the latest runway fashions. She's got big hair and makes no bones about the fact that she's positively giddy to be ballroom dancing like the stars she grew up idolizing. Did I mention she's got some talent as well? In her first dance, she drew a standing ovation, and nearly endless screams from the audience. She looked GREAT doing the cha cha in her plus-sized sequined electric blue gown.

I can only hope Ms. Marti Gras looks and moves half as well as she did on night 1. I love that shows like Ugly Betty exist. They remind the not-so-pretty, the not-so-popular, and the not-so-thin folks out there that they're okay too. That they can DO. They can BE. That it takes all shapes and sizes. And colors. And sexualities. And religions. That we should always be proud of who we are, and always reach for the stars. Dream big and take risks. Even if you're trying to change or improve, LOVE YOURSELF.

It's one of the hardest lessons, and is one I struggle with every day. I think we all do in our own ways. In the end, I think that's why I love Dancing with the Stars so much. And the Olympics. The Oscars. They give us hope, and show us stories of real, everyday people who have achieved incredible feats despite overwhelming odds. They show us dreams DO come true. And so I say "Dance on, ladies, and kick some ass!" Show us what you can do, and better yet, show yourselves!

And if I have to watch sometimes shirtless hunks gyrating their hips in the process, I can suffer. ;) Speaking of curvy divas, I have one last gay gush. I've now been measured for a custom corset. It will be more comfortable, more durable, and MUCH more fabulous. Look out kids, Marti is planning to WOW at this year's Drag Queen Bingo (7pm, April 19th, Laramie Ho-Jo: more details to follow).

I'm here because of Ashley too

If you're on Spring Break and missed the buzz that's going around today, Barack Obama gave a speech on race today. It was in response to controversial comments made by Obama's clergy of choice. The internet is awash with comments that say the speech "will go down in history" and "wow." I heard clips today while driving back from my lunch hour, and the snippets were impressive, to be sure. The commentator on my gay radio station gushed "It's so good to hear someone finally SAY these things. It's important to actually HEAR them."

I walked into the office and my aide Janet said "have you listened to this yet?" She sent me a link, and I cued it up to play but paused it while I coped with a few tasks here and there. When I walked in a few minutes later, she was crying. A lot. At first I thought she'd gotten a call telling her someone had died. Suddenly I realized that she was still listening to the speech. "Is it really THAT good?" I asked her. As she blotted and dabbed with a Kleenex she just nodded.

So at the end of the day, I too watched the video. Being the emotional homo I am, I too cried. The radio host and Janet were right. It was SO refreshing to hear someone say what so many of us already know in our hearts. He talked candidly about the anger so many Americans feel. And not just people of color. He rightly pointed out that we MUST remember the pain and problems of the past to understand the present and to perfect the future. He also talked about the anger many white Americans feel.

He was articulate, eloquent, and truly inspirational. Rather than distancing himself from someone who was becoming controversial, he addressed the issues behind it, and showed true leadership. He didn't blame anyone, and allowed everyone their own feelings while putting the issue in context. I can't think of any words other than "Brilliant!"

As my friends know, I've been hesitant to pick a favorite in the upcoming election. My official stance has been "as long as it's not a bat-shit crazy Republican, I'll be happy. I'll even take a non-bat-shit crazy Republican, as long as they're not what we've had for the last 8 years." Today, that has changed. I have not been so moved by ANY politician about ANY issue.

It's not just the words he used, as anyone can hire a speech writer. It was the raw leadership and wisdom he exuded. I can put my faith in someone who reasons this way, because they will look at an issue and address it honestly. Fairly. Not with PC political speech, or what will poll well. But honesty and integrity. That's the only way we can start to fix our country. To become the ideal we're supposed to represent. The spirit upon which we were born. The way I want to face problems. The way I want my niece and nephew to see America. A heritage they can be proud of.

Today is the day I cast my vote for Barack. But listen and read for yourself. Then decide for yourself. I'm certain you will at least be impressed.

Click here to watch the video and/or read the text.

Can't win for trying

I fear I can't go into much detail just yet, but I've reached a point where I can't win for trying at work. I've done everything that's been asked of me. I've dealt with ever-increasing workloads, expanded services, and next to no recognition. But I am paid decently and do my work well. My performance reviews even say so...for the most part. It's like beating my head against a wall.

Today's lesson...don't beat your head against the wall. Albert Einstein once said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Reach out for help when you need it. Stand up for yourself when necessary. You're a person first.