Thursday, May 20, 2004

Has it really been THAT long?

Wow. I am ashamed. I didn't realize it had been almost a month since I blogged. I knew it had been a while, but day-um. I am a horrible person. Wait. No I'm not. I'm just an insanely busy person at the end of semester. And perhaps threw my arms up and let certain things slip into the sunset. Unfortunately, they were things that make me happy. Things that let me spend time doing something for myself. Giving back to myself. Stooooopid me!

Let's see....updates. So the semester is over. Thank gawd! AIDS Walk is over. THANK GAWD. I have scheduled employees at work, and summer is officially underway, as evidenced by the fact my work hours are now 7:30am-4:30pm. It's great being done 30 minutes earlier in the day, but it also means I have to be up and quasi-functional that much sooner as well.

We had our first ever Lavender Graduation this year, as part of the OMA's Multicultural Graduation Celebration. We were included. And that's huge. Beth and I presented the first 5 graduates with their stoles and certificates. We had a dinner the night before. Coley and Travis said nice things about me, which made me cry. (I will still have my revenge!) "And it was good."

I bought myself a new wardrobe last weekend. Spent way too much money, but new clothes were needed. Shorts. T shirts. Semi-dressy shirts. Dress slacks. Yup...Loving it. And getting comments. Woo woo. Oh...and I'm going to California in June. WOOWOO! NerdyGirl and MandyFish and I are roadtripping, baby! A week of fun in the sun. And, depending on when we come back, either Pride in California (drool) or Denver (still a rocking good time)! One way or another, it's gonna be a blast. And it's going to involve nothing but pure, unadulterated (though possibly adulterous - there's boys in them thar hills!) fun! And I should have a chance to see my friend Rod in San Diego too!. *sings* "I'm so excited...and I just can't hide it...I'm about to leave this town...and I KNOW I like it!" So yeah, I'm looking forward to that, but just a little bit. It's why I've already ordered travel books from AAA and printed door-to-door driving directions. Road trip. Old school. With satellite radio, so we never have to listen to scary AM talk or country radio stations. We can listen to 80's, comedy, and queer radio the whole damn time, if we want. Par-tay. Beaches. Sun. Hot guys wearing almost nothing. It'll be perfect! (There shall be no mention of smog, California traffic, or rising gas prices!)

So that's the updates. Today's lesson about life: I got my ass kicked last night. a good way. I won't go into gory detail, but some of my dear friends reminded me of something in ceremony (read previous blog post about being a shaman in training). There are several pieces to us. Body. Emotion. Spirit. Mind. We need to balance these things in order to be whole and healthy. I have been too much in my head lately. Over-thinking. Analyzing. I haven't been feeling, because it was easier. What do you suppose happens when you ignore your heart and emotions and only live in your brain? That's right....bad things. Depression. Anxiety. Withdrawal from the world. Withdrawal from happiness. So I'm being more conscious about being less conscious, as odd as that sounds. And when I start to live in my head too much, I'll escape to the great outdoors, take my shoes off, and feel the dirt between my toes. I'll intentionally reconnect with the strength and joy I (re)discovered while in Colorado ( the previous blog posts). That energy and happiness are inside each of us, we just have to remember to tap into it. To focus on it. To embrace it.

Sound cheesy and shamanic enough for you? Good. :) Remember to take a moment today to celebrate yourself. To FEEL...not think. Turn your brain off (this will be easier for some than for others, as some of you leave your brains in powersave mode most days). Open your heart. Listen to your fear, your pain, your joy, your sadness.'s my homework too, so you're not alone. And if you want to learn more about the flavor of shamanism I'm learning, just ask. Doesn't matter if you're just curious because you wanna know or if you think maybe you'd like to start learning more about earth-honoring traditions yourself. Drop me a line.

Thus endeth the long post...but hey...I'm making up for some lost time, aren't I?

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