No wonder I have no time

Recently I was pondering my schedule. As my local readers are well aware, I manage to stay fairly busy. In addition to a full-time job (where I'm STILL putting in 50 hours a week thanks to the start of semester) and several committees/boards/activist groups, I also do things to stay active. So...on Tuesdays and Thursdays I have volleyball (until the middle of October). Wednesdays are about to become AIDS Walk meetings again. When I have Family Planning meetings, they are on Mondays. Fridays are, of course, bowling nights. Saturdays are fairly booked up for the next month or so. So what's left? Occasional Mondays and weekends. With folks coming to Laramie to research for local productions of "The Laramie Project," the drag show, and the occasional bridge night (yes, I am old enough that some of the professors have decided it's time for me to learn bridge), I'm booked. This weekend I am heading to Denver for tattoo #3. I'm very excited, as I've been thinking about this one since I got #2 a little over 2 years ago. But it means another day where I'm not at home, slaving on the yard or house. Anyone want to mow my lawn for me before it snows? Patch up the fence? Find and plug the leak in the hot tub? I'm such a bad homeowner. Thank gawd I'm not still a student, or I'd be SCREWED!

Adventures in Hair Removal

So we are now one month away from the big drag show. Last Saturday the sisters met to film the video introduction to our show. This meant the first shave. Armed with a full can of shaving cream (obtained for free from Mary Kay because I dragged Mandy along to a party) and a 12 pack of Bic Sensitive Skin Razors, I began the adventure. Into the shower we go (please note the use of black boxes and "blur dots" to protect my privacy and your vision) where we do the usual shampoo, conditioner, facial cleanser routine. I then opened the razors with a smile, lathered up an arm, and set to work. Now, boys have this tendency to be more hairy, even on our arms. I know...shocking, isn't it? Each razor pass would clear about an inch or two before clogging up. As you might imagine, it was a long process. I finished one arm just as the hot water was running out completely. Thank goodness I started early. After drying off, I used a trimmer to knock down the rest of the hair to more managable levels. I waited a while for the hot water heater, a large one to be sure, so that I wouldn't be dealing with shaving and goose bumps. As my crack team of make-up experts (Tessa and Gina) pointed out, they are NOT a good combo. The rest of the shaving went fairly well. I was very impressed with my legs...minus the slight speed bump cuts I got on my knees...which are tough to deal with! Two showers, several hours, and 5 razors later, it was done.

So the process of shaving was interesting enough. But the sensations and introspections are even more so. First of all, it just feels ODD to not have hair someplace you normally do. Drying off with a towel, putting on clothing, or just the breeze moving past your body feels completely foreign. In some respects, it feels like a heightened awareness...you simply notice things more consistently because it feels different. In other respects, you lose sensation. Hair is connected to nerves and skin, and is part of a complicated system of our body. We become accustomed to feeling the air movements on our hair.

And so I started to think...it took me hours to get ready. Now granted, most women aren't starting from the level of hair I possess, but it's no wonder it takes so long for them to get ready! This is so much fricking work! Shave, moisturize (VERY important), dress. Then it's time for make-up! That took quite a while, though to be fair I was learning and could go much faster now that I know vaguely what I'm doing. And I kept thinking what if I get pulled over wearing this make-up? What if I get a flat and have to change a tire? What will the guys at work think next week if they notice I'm now hairless on my arms and legs?

The sheer volume of expectations, insecurities, and taboos about femininity and masculinity is overwhelming. Girls must shave themselves all over, men must not. Make-up on a means X, but Y on a female. So take a moment today and think about how we put so much emphasis and meaning on something as mundane as hair. I think you'll be surprised, and knowing most of my friends...a little outraged at the gender rules bullshit.

It's official

I'm going to be an auntie! Sue and Mark are expecting. The due date is May 18th. Here's the proof:



This means that I will not be going to Holland for the holidays. I will instead be saving to get there in the summer, so I can begin corrupting my niece or nephew. And yes...I've already threatened to buy a drum set. HeeHee!

UPDATE: This is apparently the 4th test she's taken. It's the one from the doctor's office, after doing 3 at home. ;) The baby shall be named Elizabeth Ashley (Ella for short) if a girl, and Alexander Damian if a boy. But don't tell the Dutch...tradition there says you don't tell the names before the baby's born. Who knew?!

Dinner with the Prez

So tonight I went to a reception at the house of our interim University President, Tom Buchanan. First let me say that I always respected Phil Dubois and felt he truly had UW's best interests at heart. UW is in a MUCH better place now that it was when he arrived, and he deserves a lot of the credit for that. I didn't agree with every decision or intitiative, but the results are impressive when one takes a step back. I also attended a number of social events and receptions at Phil's house, and always enjoyed myself there.

Tonight, however, was different. Catering staff and the ever-popular open bar were there. So were about a dozen members of PACMWA, the President's Advisory Council on Minority and Women's Affairs...and a few spouses or partners. Tom and his wife Jacque do not live in a palacial estate. They have a simple yet elegant home on the south side of Laramie's tree area. The menu seemed VERY elite, especially for a vary small group of people and an invitation that called for "casual dress." Prawns, quesadillas, crudites, chocolade creme dessert cups and tartlettes. There was also an Ahi tuna parfait, with diced bell peppers, eggs, and topped with a small scoop of cavier. Nice spread, eh?

And yet, it was the oddest thing...it was the LEAST pretentious event I've been to in ages. Tom answered the door in blue jeans. We were impressed by the two beautiful carousel horses in the living room. We were AMAZED when Jacque told us that Tom MADE them...carved from solid wood. He was gracious, genuine, and...above all...human. We moved outside to the backyard for conversation. Francisco talked a bit about his sabbatical in Chile. We teased Beth about the fact she's just starting a semester long sabbatical. We rejoiced in the fact that Arietta is back from two rounds chemo, and laughed when she informed us her hair has grown back enough that she woke up with bed head the other day. We talked about the tornado in Wright, Hurricane Katrina, and our general digust with W. It was a group of friends enjoying each other's company, even if we didn't all know each other well.

I hold out great hope for UW with Tom in charge. I sincerely hope that he throws his hat into the ring...and gets the job permanently. I leave you with the comment that gave me the most to think about tonight. Tom told us when he was asked to step in as Interim President, he had only two conditions. The first was that he would not have to move, just to have a bigger house in which to hold events. The second was that he didn't want a UW car. He told the trustees that he and Jacque each had a car, and only a two car garage. Neither of them wanted to park their cars on the street just so a UW car could sit in a garage. He also told them that the money either a car or home would cost could be better spent buying someone out of a class or paying for another part-time lecturer's salary. Apparently his time as the VP of Academic Affairs is not lost on him. What do you think? Someone with priorities worthy of a university President?

Some days...

...just make you cry.

Today...

...is the big day. Today I turn 29. Again. I wonder what 30 will feel like. Some day I'll find out. But not today.

Ups and downs

In two days I will be officially old, especially in gay terms/society. Work is blowing chunks in new ways. How have I kept from killing someone thus far? The secret is flying. No, I'm not jumping into a phone booth to don cape and tights. It's about kites. Though the wind has been a bit lax of late and has prevented me from getting aloft often or for long, I have had some great experiences. Yesterday Linus and I had a great deal of time aloft. I managed to fly both of my kites, thanks to an upswing in the wind speed later in the evening. I also managed to break one of my kites, though not irreparably so. A new leading edge stick, some repair tape on the fabric, and all should be well again for the Fanatic. Despite the damaged baby, flying was great last night, though the winds were STRANGE: choppy, gusty, shifty. I find that flying relaxes me...makes me focus on something other than work, the fact that I STILL haven't mowed the lawn, or that I'm about to be stomped on at the beginning of semester. It gives me a sense of near athletic abilty. I can be graceful with a kite. It's something tangible. Something I can control. Today's lesson: find something that relaxes or enthralls you. Spend time with it. Escaping isn't good ALL the time, but it's a healthy to do so once in a while. Inside, outside...doesn't matter. Just pull back away for the briefest of moments. You'll find it helps you cope with the stress in the long run.

A happy thought

Today the Executive Board of Spectrum received an email. I wanted to share it with you, as I know I really needed a happy thought for the day. I give it to you as written, spelling errors and all:

i have seen the HBO special about matt and it has changed my opinion on many things. I myself once gave the gays at school a hard time, i have now tried to make it up to them, when asked why ihave changed i said because of matt. They then asked who he was and i said they should read his story for themselves. I thank matt for showing me in his own way how i was wrong. I am currently a senior in highschool
sincerly,
Jason

It's that time of year again

You know the one...where students are about to come back to school and my job becomes abnormally painful. So here is the standard and blanket disclaimer: For the next 2 months, I will likely be tired, cranky, overly emotional, and fire-breathing BITCH. I do apologize in advance if I accidentally take off your head, jump down your throat, or slight you by a disinterest in doing what you dream up. I am already putting far more than the usual 40 hour weeks, and it will only get worse as the semester gets closer. I do still love you all, and want to spend time with you. Just know that when I say no, it might be because I'm too tired, or because I know I am in far too foul a mood to be in the presence of others. I'd rather be reclusive than hang out when I am almost certain to say something I regret. That being said, there will no doubt be occasions when I NEED to drink heavily, call Hope, or otherwise be social before I find a belltower with a high powered weapon. ;) Contributions to my deliquency during these times is greatly appreciated. My friends always do their best to keep me (in)sane during this time of year, and I love you all for it. Love you more than my luggage!

Another little something I did...

Since Snakehead nudged, I managed to dash out another image. Deliberately unfinished, as I'm experimenting a bit with different styles.

No sense at all

That's what my mom used to say about people standing out in the rain. While I see her point, sometimes it's nice to be a bit foolish. On Sunday we had a nice torrential downpour in West Laramie. Something came over me. I decided I needed to be standing in the rain...so I did. I was having a day of housework, so I was wearing a sarong. I stepped out onto the back deck and let the chilled rain wash over me. It didn't take long before my hair was wet like I had recently had a shower. The puppies stayed just inside the house, looking at me as though I was daft. Perhaps I was, but it felt very good to play in the rain. I felt a connection back to nature. And back to myself. I felt like I was releasing my inner child, who didn't have enough sense to stay in out of the rain. It's not every day we can be warm enough in the rain here in Laramie. I'm not claiming it was a nice warm rain, but it was a refreshing one at least. And so the missive for today is to do something kid-like. Roll down a hill, point out the shapes of clouds for hours, eat your dessert first, go rollerskating...do something just for the fun of it! You'll be surprised how good it can feel, even if the rain could be a bit warmer at 7200 feet.

Go Southwest Pink Sub

Once upon a time there was a beautiful pink princess. She was a most special girl, and touched the lives of everyone she met. She always had a smile for those around her, and lived within her heart. She shared her love for others easily. Her life had not always been happy, and she had endured much...as so many others have as well. She did not let this stop her, however, and each day she continued to be herself. She became more and more comfortable with herself, and one day was ready to undertake a most important quest. She would have to rely on herself, though she knew her many friends would always be with her. Though she was uncertain and even a little bit frightened, she set out on her journey. Placing one foot in front of the other, she began. Her journey was to be a wonderful adventure, but it is a tale that must be told over time. A good story always takes time.

Good luck my beautiful girl. My Grace. We love you and are with you. Always.

We ALL have pain...

Most of us carry a deep-seated, private pain around inside. There is something that is so close and personal that we dare not share it with others. Occasionally, we meet that rare someone who is so special...so much a part of us, that we can share that deepest pain with them freely. With them, we can rip open our souls and lay them bare before another. This is love in its purest form. It is not always found coupled with romantic love, as the two are somewhat mutually exclusive.

We need not fear this pain, as it is a part of us. Without darkness, we cannot truly appreciate the light. We can learn to drawn hope and strength from the presence of the pain. For we know that there is at least one person out there with whom we can share it... finally be purely ourselves. If we remember that fact, and focus on it when the pain seems too much, we are reminded to continue searching. To find those special few...for there may always be one more. The search is its own reward. It is an adventure. And along the path, we may find something...or someone...priceless along the way.

And so, for the first lesson in a long time, I offer this: Be glad that you have pain. For it causes growth, and strength, and hope. Don't seek out pain, as enough will come to you naturally. It is the way of the Universe. Take your pain and use it to keep searching for a person with whom to release it. Then begin again.

Let's get published, shall we?

I am feeling an overwhelming urge to blog today, though I freely admit I have no clue what to put down in words. AH! Perhaps my good news, though nothing is in concrete yet. I've been asked by a professor in the African American Studies department to write a chapter for his new diversity textbook. It's titled "In Your Face Etiquette 101: How to Avoid Enraging Underrepresented Groups" and is going to be written in a personal, conversational tone. Since I've spoken to his Intro class a few times, he thought of me when it came time to write a Big Gay Chapter. I'm really excited about the opportunity! I'm playing tag with the professor in question, as he's bouncing between Laramie and Arizona while he cares for his mother. As soon as I can touch base with him though, I'm going to sign on!

I also spoke with Romaine recently. Her new book is finished, and will be released in October. She tells me there is a chapter simply titled "Jim." Here's hoping she writes good things about me... ;)

Today just pisses me off

Well, you know you must be doing something right when you piss off the Vatican.
http://www.lifesite.net/ldn/2005/jul/05071301.html

And Bush is seeking advice from an old friend of the GLBT community (sorry if the sarcasm stains...try club soda to get that out) on the Supreme Court vacancies
http://hrc.org/Template.cfm?Section=Press_Room&CONTENTID=27896&TEMPLATE=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm

A friend of mine is going through hell with family now. Though I don't think he reads the blog, I'm sending out happy vibes for him. He needs them. Love you S.

Nerdygirl has been put through the ringer, with a job falling through and a stolen wallet. Thankfully, the finances should be coped with and she has a new job. Wootwoot!

I learned last night that my newly-found, happy and secure Hope supplier has decided to retire. Thankfully, I shouldn't be dry for a month or so. Time to get greedy and ration-y. *sigh*

W is still in office. What more reason do you need?

Post 126 - Another piece of art (?)

You may have noticed the nifty thumbnail sized pictures here on my blog. One of them is an AP photo taken from when I was an angel at the trials of Matthew Shepard's murderers. Well, I went back to my digital art program and worked up this little gem. It's intentionally rougher than some of the others. I didn't want any one face to overpower...and faces are TOUGH without much more precise editing programs. Since this is just a time-killing hobby, I don't plan to get beefier software. So I hope you enjoy a digital oil rendering of "Angel Action," circa 1999.

Memorium

I miss you mom.

I have a fan!

Apparently Snakehead commands more artwork. So here's another little bit I did. It's from San Diego, and is the oldest school in the California. While it's not another hot guy, I am rather proud of it. I had to do a lot of detail work to finish it, so I hope you enjoy!

Go West Young Nerd

We salute our Locutus of Blog, Abra, as she joins the ranks of the graduated and begins her life in Seattle. We send her off with open hearts and our warmest of wishes. Take luck and enjoy your adventures, NerdyGirl, but remember we are only a blog post away.

The Pride Recap

As some of you are aware, as Empress of Gayness for Wyoming I felt it my duty to represent Laramie properly at Pride last weekend. Here's a quick recap of the weekend.

Saturday

• Heard from Scott: he couldn't go along, as work wouldn't let him off. Decided to go alone after all, as I needed to get the hell out of town before I killed someone.
• Drop puppies off at the vet's for shots and boarding at 10am Leave town by 10:30am
• Get stuck in construction/accident traffic south of Cheyenne. Don't care, as the mood is already lightened and the gay dance music is blasting. Roll down windows and open sunroof to work on tan and enjoy fresh air while parked for 30 minutes on I-25
• Some new clothes, which were needed anyway, on the way south
• Arrival at Jerry's condo at 2pm- cute place. Made myself a cosmo while waiting for the "girls" to show up.
• Jerry and Chuck showed up, and we went out to the pool with their neighbors Mary and Megan. Drinking commenced poolside at about 2:30pm - frozen cosmos! We finished off a new bucket easily.
• Ed and Shawn arrived about 4pm
• 5pm: Change of clothes, and off to dinner - a faboo Mexican restaurant. Margaritas may have been involved.
• Off to BJ's Carousel, a bar that was featuring some scary drag. Long Beach Iced Tea's were involved. After 30 minutes of scary drag, we left.
• On to the Wrangler - Free drinks from 10-11pm if you took off your shirt. I happily paid for my drinks.
• Needless to say, I was blissfully intoxicated by this point. Something may have happened on the patio, but none of the bitches who are aware will say shit, right? Remember...you like my house and my bar. And you fear me.
• Quick Batman....to Charlie's! There we met up with more of the Laramie crew. More Long Beaches. And Jemai, a gorgeous black man who flirted shamelessly with most of us. And unexepectedly bit my nipple - hard. OUCH. I don't like pain. It hurts me. I did, however, like Jemai. ;)
• The bar closed at about 2am, and Travis drove me back "home." 12 hours of drinking. Woohoo!

Sunday

• Wake up way too early. 3-4 hours of sleep is NOT enough, even at the tender age of 29.
• Drive my sleepy self near the park to watch the parade with Jerry and Chuck. We had viewing stands. And mimosas.
• Walk behind the parade and meet up with most everyone at some point.
• Damn it's hot. Walk around looking at booths and all the men running around in next to nothing. Tasty!
• Wander over for lunch at Subway on the 16th street mall and a nice cold (and coffee-laden) Charbucks Frapaccino.
• A bit more wandering, then the loooooong walk back to the car. Exhaustion + heat = sleepy. Drive self back to condo.
• Meet back up with Mary, Chuck, Jerry, and Shawn for more pool fun. No cocktails. Yet.
• It starts to rain late in the afternoon, so we went inside and watched a movie. Well, I watched one while everyone else drifted in and out of naps.
• Everyone leaves. Shawn and I decide we're going out again, so it's off to dinner at the Hard Rock. Drinks called a "Purple Haze" were involved. Yummy stuff!
• To Charlie's, to meet up with Robert and Joey from Gillette. Travis and everyone else from Laramie wussed out on us.
• Meet up with a blast from Laramie. He was creepy up here, and was creepy while drunk in Denver. He also played with my nipples. What is it about Charlie's?
• Meet fun people from Casper. Head to Tracks. Discover (after we're inside and had paid the cover) that it was "Chocolate Sunday." In other words, we were some of the few white people there.
• Meet up with other folks from Laramie. Dance our asses off. Marathon style. Went up on the stage, even. I got complimented twice for my dancing. I was surprised, but quite pleased. Much dirty dancing went on. As did a fair amount of drinking.
• Closed the bar. Gabbed in the parking lot with our new friends from the club for a while.
• Shawn and I drove back to the condo, where we crashed out hardcore.

Monday

• Wake up about 8:30am. Had more sleep, but still not a lot.
• Meet Travis and Jason at the drag store at 10am.
• Spend 2 hours and $200 on shoes, a wig, a corset, stockings, and a hat. Had a blast.
• Drive back to Laramie.
• Pick up puppies from the vet. $180, most of which was shots and vet checkup, not the boarding.
• Drop off puppies and luggage at home. Drive to Family Planning. Put on shoes to show of the new goodies. Fall down. Dammit.
• Go back home, cook dinner, watch a little TV. Catch up on the 200 emails I didn't check over the weekend. Go to bed. PASS OUT.