We've come so far

Brokeback Mountain opened in Laramie today. The Rainbow Resource Center has a new, larger, and more visible home in the Union. There are 121 people subscribed to the Spectrum email list. Spectrum was named Outstanding Student Organization last year. Wyoming AIDS Walk is celebrating its 5th year. There is gay TV all over the place. I'm starting the beginnings of a career as a professional homo.

It's 2006 now. As I reflect on the past year, I am amazed at where we are today. I came out 10 years ago, and it was a much different world. I remember exactly where I was and who I was with the night Ellen came out on her television show. I remember Tammy Baldwin being elected the first openly lesbian congresswoman. I remember when only 8 states offered employment protection based on sexual orientation...not 17. I remember when no states protected employment based on gender identity...not 7. And I still remember being terrified of people learning I was gay. Today, most of these things are remembered as history...ancient history by some. *grin*

I am simply overwhelmed by how much things have changed in the decade since I first told someone I wasn't straight. Things have changed a great deal, and not just for the country as a whole! I'm speaking nationally and writing textbook chapters, for fuck's sake! But this isn't about me. It's about change. Determination. Struggle. SUCCESS! We all have a part in this, gay or straight. The readers of my blog are all a part of "the movement." Or you wouldn't be my friends...or phantom cyber stalkers. ;) Thank you for that. And now...onward and upward!

I'm not a 21 year old...

...but I play one on TV. Ok, not on TV. But on New Year's I sure pretended. We partied like rock stars. We danced non-stop on New Year's for HOURS. Some interesting facts and numbers:

• 5: the number of days in Denver with "the girls"
• more than I can count: the number of cocktails I/we had
• 5: the number of different gay bars we hit while down south, some more than once (of course)
• 2: the number of gay restaurants we went to
• $10: the amount of money a random woman gave Jerry, Cory, and I each...just because she knew we were gay, and wanted good fag hag and gambling karma
• 1: number of men who asked for my number randomly after saying "You're hot." This would be the first time that's happened.
• 1.5: the average number of meals we ate when we were there
• 1: the number of hot tubs we were in
• 4: the number of hours of sleep I had in a 36 hour period
• 5: the number of naked penises I saw
• 0: the number of times I had sex - hey...statistics can't ALL be good ;)

Fun at the eye doctor?!

It really is possible! Who knew!? First of all, my eye doctor has the sophisticated, nerdy hot thing going for him. He's got a great smile and eyes you could get lost in. Appropriate, don't you think? He's also super gay-friendly. We had a lovely conversation today about his friend from St. Louis who owns a gay bar, and how they went down to Charlie's in Denver the last time he was in town.

Now, I didn't really NEED to go to the eye doctor, but I had a substantial amount of flex medical reimbursement money to use this year. Apparently I was too healthy, at least for things other than colds, etc. for which I didn't see a doctor. So I had money to splurge on new glasses. Because my prescription didn't change much (it actually was a bit better than usual today), getting a new pair of glasses for the office seemed silly and wasteful. So I'm getting a new pair of prescription sunglasses. With $300 Oakley frames. I've never owned shades other than the $15 versions available at the local mega-marts. I think they look good on me, and the nice folks there agreed with me.

To boot, Dr. Hunky furrowed his brow a bit during the exam and asked if I had ever considered lasik surgery. I had, but since my prescription was so mild and I am far-sighted, he'd never been too wild about it. However, his top surgeon in Denver is doing a study on...lasik for far-sighted people. Dr. Hunky thinks I'd be a great candidate for the study, and is sending my info south. If selected, I will get FREE lasik! He told me with a slight grin that the "downside" is that follow-up appointments would be in Denver. "You mean I'd have to take time off from work, create a long weekend in Denver, and have a legitimate excuse to head south and go out to REAL clubs?" Gee. Darn. Sign my ass up!!!

In other news, I have released the schedules for my employees...my major stress over break periods and the only serious deadline hanging over my head right now. WOOT!

This rarely seen bright and cheery mood is brought to you by the letter Q (for queer) and the number 9 (for inches).

Professor Higgins, I could have danced all night!

In fact, I did. But we'll get to that. Olive Garden was delicioso as per usual. How can you go wrong with the soup, salad, and breadstick lunch? Once in Denver, we headed to Jerry's to unpack and unwind. Chuck and Jerry arrived a little after we got there, and margaritas weren't far behind. We just laughed and lounged and drank until it was time to head for the theater. The movie was incredible beyond words. It was passionate, tender, brutal, and honest. You saw every ounce of lust, love, and pain of the original story. I was in awe. After the film, Cory and I headed for the club. Scott and Craig showed up as we were heading for the door. We got in before there was a cover. I love it when the timing is totally on.

After about 20 minutes, I took to the dance floor. When they play Cher, how could I not? There were very few people there yet, and I normally wouldn't be on the dance floor without more bodies to keep me anonymous. But Cory, Scott, Craig, and more new friends in Denver were with me, and it just felt right. We started to dance. We didn't stop except to get a fresh drink from the bar or switch to the 80's room for a few minutes. 3 hours. I danced non-stop for 3 hours. Then we switched to an after hours club, located in a basement of a building near the capital building. At nearly 3am, Cory and I were exhausted, and drove back to Englewood to the condo for the night. We went to "The Petticoat Bruncheon" at the Bump and Grind...translation: brunch served by boys in scary bad drag.

As if the events weren't fun enough, the friendship was incredible. I hadn't been out dancing with Scott or Cory, and Cory had never been to a real gay club. Cory found a nice Argentinian boy named Claudio to dance and flirt with. Scott and I saw a side of each other we'd never seen, and opened up to each other like never before. Craig and I bonded. I feel alive again.

Time for a gay weekend

I've had it. I'm sick of work. I'm sick of Laramie. So against my better judgement (translation: financial situation) I'm evacuating town this weekend for a gay getaway. Cory and I will be driving south, listening to the Rent soundtrack over and over. While Georgina (my car) is getting an oil change, we will be having the soup, salad, and breadstick lunch at The Olive Garden in Fort Collins. From there, it's on to Denver! We'll be staying at Jerry's condo in Englewood. He's already putting a bucket of margaritas in the freezer for our arrival. We shall find fabulous food somewhere in Denver before heading to the Mayan Theater for Brokeback Mountain - nominated for 7 Golden Globes. We're meeting up with a small contingent from Laramie including Keith and Khristian for the show. Tickets have already been purchased, and a good thing too. The Mayan is the only theater in Denver showing the film, and rumor has it that it's sold out on both screens Saturday night. After what promises to be a FANTASTIC movie, we will head out to Tracks, one of the gay dance clubs, for a night of cutting loose! Brunch on Sunday, no doubt. Jess is puppy-sitting, and has therefore made this regeneration break possible. Shout out, Babe!

I leave you with a short interview with Annie Proulx, author of the original short story, Brokeback Mountain. It's good. Read it, bitches:
http://365gay.com/entertainment/special/specialreports/121605special.htm

Sibling Rivalry

My sister just turned 29 on Friday. She made the mistake of logging in this morning. Brothers and sisters are supposed to make each other crazy now and then. Sometimes, they also have fun. Happy Birthday Sis!

J: Heh. You're old.
S: hehe, younger than you. I'm not 30 yet. nananana!
J: Not by much. I refuse to turn 30, so I'll be having my third annual 29th birthday next time. Before long, I’ll be younger than you!
S: What if I refuse to turn 30? Then I'll be 29, but still fewer times than you, so I'm still younger.
J: Nope. Moms can't not turn 30. It's the law. Especially in communist countries. I saw it on Jeopardy.
S: That shows what you know! Moms with gay brothers are exempt from that
J: Not if it makes them younger than said gay brother. We have to be the youngest and prettiest.
S: well, then you are losing anyway...I'm the prettiest one. That's why mom liked me best.
J: *laugh* See...now you're just talking crazy talk. Moms always like the gay boys best.
S: you're in denial...they only PRETEND to like them better because the gay boys are so sensitive...moms don't want to hurt their feelings
J: Girl...moms know we can kick a little ass and whip out a little 'tude. We're like best gal pals.
S: ah, but you are the "high maintenance" best friend that's really only superficial...great to go shopping with, but not who you call for real stuff
J: Shopping, cocktails, and girl talk. What's more real than that?!
S: Um...reality.
J: Oh honey....reality is just that stuff on TV. Shows like "Big Gay Brother," "American Idolatry," and "Survive Me." (I'm having so much fun channeling Karen Walker!)
S: But honey, Karen has way nicer boobs!
J: You haven't seen pictures of the drag show yet. 52DD. Who needs a purse when you have cleavage from hell?
S: And you found that size...where?

No Day But Today

Sometimes I am a walking stereotype. I freely admit that I love Broadway and show tunes. It will come as no shock to those who know me that I went to see Rent for the third time last night. Spectrum, the queer student group I advise, went to see the show as a group. We ended up having a sing along in the theater. There were few other people in the theater, we were bigger and meaner, and we actually had some talent...so we decided to go for it. It was nothing short of magical. Each time I see it, the recurring themes come back to me...stronger than before. Love fiercely. Live each day as if it is your last. These are the easy ones.

The name of the play "Rent" doesn't just refer to paying the bills. It's also about people's lives and groups of friends being torn into pieces...being rent apart. And bringing them back together. The drag queen character, Angel, teaches everyone to value love and friendship. To be yourself. To be unabashedly and unapologetically unique. To give freely of your heart, your time, and your worldly goods..."Today for you, tomorrow for me."

We should each be reminded of these things, and often. So in true gay show tune fashion, I leave you with your homework, in the form of a song:

There's only us
There's only this...
Forget regret
Or life is yours to miss
No other road
No other way
No day but today

The Pope is a Spin Doctor

My office aide was watching segments of the Today Show recently. The Catholic church has recently "lightened up" on its stance regarding unbaptized babies and limbo. I realize that limbo is not official church doctrine. What was funny to me, though not shocking at all, was that an official from the Catholic Church went on national TV and said that the Pope had asked their committee to re-examine the issue and put a more "positive spin" on it. The fact that any church changes positions on an issue or theological interpretation is not shocking. Most of my Catholic friends said "Don't you think we KNOW the church shifts on issues?" Of course! But now they're publicly admitting it on national TV.

In short, it's okay for the church to change it's mind. But not on the whole gay thing, of course. ;)

Rollercoasters

I've spent the week with ups and downs, to be sure. It's been a long semester for me, and I know I'm not the only one. Work involves stress and drama. I spent a fair amount of time today trying to find the new Rent soundtrack...which is apparently not available in Laramie. Thank goodness for Amazon.

But a funny thing happened as I scoured the stores of Laramie. While in K-Mart, I ran into my old mentor teacher and her husband. I hadn't seen her since I did Romeo's soliloquy for her 9th grade classes. She asked me how I was doing and what was new. My answer surprised me.

I didn't tell her about work. I told her that I had a chapter in a diversity textbook that will be published before long. I told her that I have my second paid speaking gig coming up. I told her that I connected with the Safe and Drug-Free Schools coordinator in Cheyenne, and that she wants me to come do SafeZone trainings all over the Laramie County School District. I told her that I was doing what I had dreamed of, what she helped me realize I wanted, that I was making it happen. Slowly but surely. It wasn't until I was done telling her, and seeing her face light up, that I realized it was true.

Despite all the stress, the frustration, the single-ness, the feeling old...I am doing good things and working towards what I want. It made me stop and smile, despite Laramie's lack of taste in soundtracks, spending too much money on the payday shopping trip, and the freezing cold weather. So I want everyone to stop for a moment and take stock in what you're doing. I know most of my regular readers, and know that you're doing the same thing. It's finals time here at UW, and that means a lot of stress. So pause and remember that you are working toward something. It's not all in vain. Hang in there, and remember to give yourself credit. As long as you're moving forward, you're moving. The rest is details.

I already sent this to some of you via email, but thought I would share with all. You should watch this video, but you must do it with sound. This is what happens when you double major in music and electrical engineering...and have WAY too much time on your hands before the holidays.

http://members.cox.net/transam57/lights.wmv

I am thankful...

...for each of you. You are all an important part of my life. You are my family. So thank you for being you.

I'm still here

Not to worry, I am still alive and kicking. Since my last post, I have been to Monterey, California for a conference, been down with a nasty head cold, and logged WAY too many hours of karaoke for my own good. Oh, and I actually put together a professional website. So check out www.biggayjim.com if you're looking for a taste of my gayness. That'll tide you over until I have a "real" post.

It's a gayby!

Forget the babies...here's a gayby. Specifically, these would be the first ultrasound pictures of my nephew or niece. And of course, since I'm SO gay, the baby has turned into a gayby. Hey, if OTHER people can have a dark acolyte...

Just go there...trust me, bitches!

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/41902

Please note the picture caption as well.

Proof there is balance in the universe

It's true. Yesterday, I was shown divine proof that balance does indeed exist in the Universe. What proof, you ask? Well, I'll tell you. As most here in Laramie know, Daddy Bush was in town for a public speaking engagement. This meant buildings being closed for security sweeps, major roads being blocked off so that motorcades could pass by, and an impending sense of Republicanosity in town. Needless to say, my little ol' gay self was feeling like I needed a shower and a cocktail. But it's true what they say about it being darkest before the dawn. Just as I was ready to wallow in the depths of despair that only a relative (and spawner) of W can bring, a light revealed itself. I got in the car and tuned into Derek and Romaine on the radio. Who was their guest? That's right. Star of music and film herself...repeated guest on "The Love Boat"...and a semi-icon in the gay community: CHARO! With her skimpy and oh-so-colorful outfits, her large breast, and her thick accent as she giggles "coochie coochie coochie," she's about 2 seconds away from being a drag queen. She's still overly energetic, very friendly, and still loves her 'mos! She's just released a new CD and has kept busy as an entertainer on...shockingly...cruises. Including gay ones. And she parties down with the party boys, from the sounds of it. So just remember, for stuffed shirt Republican war monger out there...there's a Charo to balance it out!

PS...if you don't know who Charo is...die you infant scum!

Fuck my feet hurt

Well, I'd say the show was a success. We raised $1300 for the RRC, had a standing-room-only audience, and had a shitload of fun too. What more could you hope to do with a Saturday night in Laramie? Well, make people think, that's what.

Last night Kristen, our beloved cocktail fairy, had several run ins with "regulars" who kept asking "Why are there gay men on the stage at the Cowboy." She finally had enough and began responding with rather pointed terms and tones. "Look...they've brought in a crowd twice what we'd have at this time on a Saturday night. They're buying 4 times as many drinks, and they're buying cocktails...not beer...which cost twice as much. They're having fun and raising money for a good cause. If you don't like it, JJ's bar is down the street. Oh...and this is going to become an annual fucking event!" I love the way she made an executive decision...and came to happily report it all to us backstage.

As happy as I was about her response to narrow-mindedness, a later story made me tear up...thank goodness for waterproof mascara. Apparently, one such regular stayed for a while, decided "it wasn't his thing" to hang out with gay people, so he took her advice. A while later that night, he came back. When she asked him about why, he said that he had been to 2 other bars while he was gone. And had not had any fun. So he came back to a place where people WERE having fun. "So see...it's not so bad, is it?" she asked him. "No. No it's not. Can I get a beer" was his simple response.

All in all, a successful night, don't you think? The nails are off, the makeup removed, and the feet propped up. Now all I have to do is start looking for more numbers...apparently our adoring fans will not hear of the possibility it was a one-time deal.

Alright, now I'm pissed

Yesterday I received a package notification slip from the post office. I was expecting my new kite, so I raced to the P.O. to claim my new baby! Thanks to the frickin' traffic on the Clark St. viaduct, I pulled up the Post Office about 1 minute after they locked up the clerk's area. Spending 10 minutes to travel 1 block over the damned bridge was enough to frost my cookies, but then I went to claim my goodies this morning.

I left the office and went out to the car, ready to hustle my buns to the P.O. with claim slip in hand. As I walked up to the car, I noticed that one of my fabulously gay stickers had been ripped in half! My FOD (Friends of Dorothy) sticker is now only half there. :( And I'm pissed! This is the first time my car has been defaced in any way, and it's pretty clear that it wasn't something that just blew off the car or was washed away.

I know that I probably should be happy that it was only one sticker...and not paint, tires, windows, etc. But the concept just pisses me off. I don't go around defacing Jesus fish, yellow ribbons, Army bumper stickers, or even anti-gay stickers handed out by the 700 club. So why does someone feel the right to trash one of my stickers, for which I paid good money. And why choose FOD instead of the Bush is a Muggle sticker or one of the more overtly gay stickers? *sigh* Narrow minded people: Can't live with 'em, can't dig NEARLY enough shallow graves to hide 'em all.

Another gay post

Who knew?! I'm going to have consecutive gay posts. I just wanted to let everyone know that hope for a kinder, gentler (read more gay friendly) future is not lost. I just returned from Powell, Wyoming. A largely agricultural community in a deeply religious (predominantly LDS) area, Powell has a population of about 5500. Northwest College asked me to come up and help them establish a SafeZone program by conducting a "Train the Trainers" workshop. Though it meant a 7 hour trip one way (and resulted in my first ever speeding ticket on the way up), it was worth the trip. If a rural and conservative community like Powell can have a program that reaches out to GLBT folks, anyone can.

As devoted readers and friends may recall, I made a similar trip in Feb. 2004 to Pocatello, ID to set up a SZ program at Idaho State University. Coming in December: a trip to Scottsbluff, NB so THEY can have a SZ program too. We're also talking to Chadron, NB as they have expressed interest too. So see...there is some good gay news out there in the world. Jus thought I'd share.

PS...the Drag Show is this Saturday at 9pm at the Cowboy Bar. Get your bitch asses there! $5 each or $8 per couple...we don't care who your couple is. Me in 6 inch heels. Need I say more?

I remember

It was 7 years ago today that a group of folks went to the Village Inn after the LGBTA meeting. Later that night, Matt went to the Fireside, left with Henderson and McKinney, was robbed, beaten, and tied to a fence. I have not forgotten. I will not forget. Matt, I will continue to be a voice in the silence you left behind.

Ink vs. Art

I already had 2 tattoos. I had ink. Yesterday I got a 3rd. I went to high school with a guy who now has a nice tattoo and piercing place in Denver. He does the piercing and his partner does the ink. He's won several awards at national and international tattoo art shows/conventions. I told him basically what I wanted: "angel wings with a rainbow fill that start on my foot and wrap up and around my ankle. Add a halo to the front on my shin." From that description he grabbed a new sharpie and did a freehand mock up on my leg. 2 hours, a fair amount of pain (there's little between the bones of the ankle and the needle), and a little bit of blood later, I have this:








I am in LOVE. The only thing I could think was: the others are nothing compared to this. Such detail and artistry. I didn't just get ink; I got art.

NOTE: I know in the pictures it seems to be red and irritated. It's actually not; he used a pink Sharpie to draw on the design. This is just leftover ink, as I cannot scrub it free just yet. IT HURTS. And I'm so happy!