Thursday, March 11, 2004

Locutus of Blog

I told Mandy, Abra, Linus, and Aubree last night that I would not be assimilated. I would not join the blog cult! Who was I kidding?! A chance to rant, rave, wax poetic, and otherwise shoot my mouth off? It's SO me. ;) Does that mean I'm Locutus of Blog? So here I am. For any random person stumbling across my blog, here's a description (the rest of you know me too well anyway): I'm 6'4" and too many pounds. I'm racing towards the ripe old age of 29, and as 30 is screaming at me from around the corner, I'm not too happy about it. Being terminally single doesn't help matters, of course. But I have my two puppies, Reese and Turbo (mini dachshunds) and a fish tank. No, it's not a relationship, but they're happy things! And I dare you to find a date in Laramie, Wyoming as a gay man when the only two men you've truly, passionately loved were not in a place where a relationship would work. One was straight and the other was already taken...see're not the only ones with that problem. I work at the University of Wyoming as a professional computer geek, but stick around because I get to be a very involved GLBT activist in a place that's short on them. And I have cool friends, so there's that plus too. I bought a house 3 years ago, a new car 3 months ago, and a new life 9 years ago (when I came out, sillies!).

And now for a thought pattern for the day. Hmmm...My horoscope says March/April is supposed to be a time of great (positive) change. Supposedly, my love life will take off this weekend. Sheeyah. Right. Unless Abra and I "find me a man" this weekend when I take her to the airport. As much as I wish it weren't true, I'm still smarting a bit from my last great love. While I can't seem to say that out loud to my friends, apparently I can write it here, even knowing some of them will be reading it. Damn you, blog-cult-starting, Oompah-Loompah-sized, fabulous-house-girl NerdyGirl! So heart's still broken *must not cry while blogging at work* - a little bit. Not hearing from him makes it both better and worse, I suppose. Distance and separation should mean I can "get over" him more easily, right? But at the same time not talking to him or hearing from him makes me doubt myself...makes me think he doesn't want to talk to me. Because I didn't mean that much to him (Shuddup Abe and Mandy...I know...that's not the case, but try telling my heart that). Or because I'm not worth talking to (I say again...shuddup.) I didn't say it was all rational or based in fact, but it doesn't make the emotion/fear any less real or any easier to shrug off.

K...that's enough for the moment. I am deciding blogs are evil. I start typing and all of a sudden I'm being honest. About myself. YUCK! Will most likely post again later. It's a slow day at work, and one must kill the time somehow. I can only play so many games of Mozaki Blocks on MSN.