Wednesday, March 31, 2004


So today we are posting from a remote and exotic spot: The Grounds. I've not been here in quite some time, and tried calling most of my faithful (faithless? hapless? hopeless?) readers to join me for a cuppa. I stayed home from work today, firmly ensconced in the throes of a cold. YUCK! I woke up around 3am with little ability to breathe. A little medication fixed that. The fever of 101 wasn't as easily subverted, but I managed to crash out for a bit longer. At about 5am, I crawled upstairs and sent in the required note to work, telling them to piss off. Or that I wouldn't be's a little hazy. And throat is SORE today (no bitchy comments, y'all).

So I let the pups outside for a bit and crawled back into bed, feverishly hot and unhappy about life in general. A lazy day seemed to help, at least emotionally...and no doubt the extra rest didn't hurt matters. I finally stumbled through the shower and managed to shave without slitting my throat, which I see as a plus. Then I had to run to work. Not to do anything workish, mind you, but to send out the car payment (the payment coupons are in the office). Then I went to The Evil Empire and bought drugs. Lots of drugs. Happy drugs. Happy drugs that make my throat numb. The chair will now entertain a "woohoo." *waits a moment for you to woohoo* Thanks. :)

Having been in the house all day, I felt the need to get OUT and do something. See someone. So coffee seemed happy, as warm beverages are supposedly soothing. Of course, none of you bitches were around, but I shall forgive you. ;) I read the Branding Iron today, and realized that it is, indeed, the time of year for someone to call for the impeachment of the ASUW President. My how the semester has flown by, eh? I ordered a LARGE raspberry chai, which was delish btw, so I had to peruse the pages of US News & World Report. I'd forgotten exactly how dull and boring our government is these days. What a bunch of whiny, snivelling toads. Harumpf.

But I shall ignore them, for it is a beautiful day outside today. Despite being sick, I am enjoying that immensely. Today's learned lesson: I know how I got sick. Despite someone's comment, I do not LOVE it. I loved getting sick, not being sick. And now I know WHY I got sick. It was a gentle reminder that I am not invincible. I've been feeling very good about things lately, and like I can take on everything. This is the universe's way of reminding me that while I can take on anything, I cannot take on everything. (I hate it when the NerdyGirl is right.) So some decisions have been made. I will be making some changes in a few months, in terms of my participation with different organizations. While it pains me, it's necessary to seek balance. (OK Universe...I've learned my lesson. Can I NOT be sick now?)

Thus endeth our illness induced ramblings for today. After my AIDS Walk dinner meeting, it's back home to my red root tincture and sea salt gargles, in the hopes my voice and health hold out long enough to make it to/from Idaho this weekend.

Oh...and all praise the birth of the White Man's NerdyGirl. We love ya babe. And there's presents!

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Gray skies are gonna clear up...

So...the weekend was good. We went to Denver for the conference. Happy hours are a wonderful thing. We had shrimp. A LOT of shrimp. I had white sangria. 3 of them even. Did I mention I got a look from a cute guy on the street? Then we went to the hotel. There was reservation drama, but it could have been much worse. We got into rooms with the appropriate number of beds, and life was happy. After regrouping (and digesting shrimp...a LOT of shrimp) we went out for dinner. Mexican food, which required margaritas. Flavored ones, even. Yum! Sleep...but not until we painted Jake's toes rainbow colors. Heh.

Breakfast, and then on to the conference. I was greeted by my friend Judy from Penn State. Who knew!? It was a wonderful surpise, and I enjoyed the conference a great deal. Networking and gaining info. Strategies from people who've been there. And people reminding me that the "volunteer" work I do, when combined, is considered a full-time job in many places. Yup. I could get paid for this shit! So rocked my world. And then we had Indian food!

Now, that was good. But without giving you too much detail, when I woke up Sunday morning, even though it was cloudy, windy, and snowy, the sun seemed to be shining brightly. And I could tell, by using my x-ray vision to look through the clouds, that the sky was just a little bit bluer. And I broke out in song. AND IT WAS GOOOOOOOOD.

Now I'm developing a cold. I know where it came from, and yeah...instant karma's gonna get ya. Guess what? I DON'T CARE. *big, teethy grin* Work on Monday was long. Very long. I spent all afternoon getting ready for the big scheduling push. Then there was a birthday dinner for the-bitch-who-claims-to-be-T-bone-but-it-really-chopped-liver. Yes, you! I know you'll read this eventually, so I'll say it again. START A BLOG! And send us all the address. I don't want to be the newest initiate in the blog cult, so pony up, ya punk! *ahem* We now return you to your regularly scheduled philosophizing*

It's now Tuesday, and I've been uber-productive again. I'm kicking work's ass, and punting around AIDS Walk, travel reimbursements, and impending travel plans for the weekend - just for sport. I'm feeling great, despite a sore throat and soon-to-be-stuffy head.

So the part you've all been waiting for patiently (or not so patiently - I can see you squirming, Fish. Hmm...maybe it's just that pesky rash. Nevermind): What have I learned since my last post?

Well, it's more simple than you might think: Let it go. That's it. Rather than stressing over something coming to you, or what you're missing, trust in the universe and let it come to you. Believe it or not, it will happen. And when you least expect it. Just like all the cliche advice, fortune cookies, and bolstering from friends says. (This is the part which is annoying - I was supposed to be right, not you all!) I've been feeling the need for changes and growth, moving in the direction of more activism. And perhaps in a more professional vein. So a request to sit on a board shows up. And a request for an activist's resume - which I had to write. And a conference full of people telling me to get a job in Student Affairs and to make my passion my career. Subtle as a chainsaw, no? And long have I been bitching? 'Nuff said.

So that's it. When we relax and focus our energies on taking care of true necessities, the perks in life will naturally come our way. I'll leave you with one thought: IT WAS GOOD! (Scarred yet?)

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Must post

I want to stay in the habit of posting, as I find the process of purging my feelings into text to be a cathartic one. Of course, that means I must choose something upon which to spout. Ooo....I know. A LONG ASS MO-FO DAY.

You know it's going to be a bad day when someone walks into your office at 8am at tells you an employee won't be able to make their shift for the next 3 days. Because she's in the hospital following a suicide attempt.

You know it's going to be a bad day when that person took her to the hospital and is feeling a bit shaken themselves. And is another employee.

You know it's going to be bad day when you try to leave for a lunch hour where you can't actually eat lunch because you're too poor. And find that someone has parked so close to your car you have to crawl into your SUV (with a between-seat console) from the passenger side.

You know it's going to be a bad day when you don't get to eat dinner because you have meetings right up until 10:30pm or so. But you can eat a can of soup in your office at 3pm. But you realize you STILL don't have a bowl at the office in which to microwave said soup, so you eat it bachelor-style (cold and right from the can).

You know it's going to be a bad day when you look at your calendar for the rest of the week hoping for a moment to breathe, and find it doesn't look much better.

And just when you KNOW it's going to be a bad day, you remember your last meeting is a presentation where you get the chance to touch lives and change minds, creating tolerance or even acceptance. And that you get to do it with your good friend, the Chief of Police.

And you get a letter written to Judy Shepard (and from her, in a round-about way) that contains the following, reminding you why you keep doing this shit:

On Thursday, March 11th while our state and local representatives were debating and voting on the issue, a huge amount of people gathered from all across the country to voice their opinion outside of our State House. The numbers of people who gathered were staggering and they spilled from the steps of the State House into and throughout Boston Common. There were many people carrying signs expressing their support of gay marriage but there were even more expressing hateful views towards gay people.

At 10:00 that morning something remarkable happened. A small group of my students, many of whom had appeared in The Laramie Project, rushed to my office and shared with me an idea. It would seem that on their way to school that day they passed through the common and witnessed the crowds of people carrying signs with messages of hate. My students asked for permission to take our angel wings used in the play and go down to the State House and silently oppose the hate mongers. They wanted to use the costume wings in the very same way that they were used against Fred Phelps at the trials of Aaron McKinney and Russell Henderson.

Within a few short hours, by means of e-mails and cell phones, a group of 20-25 people, including our faculty from our production marched together to our State House for their very own “Angel Action”.

I accompanied the students partly because I was concerned for their safety but mostly because I was caught up in their energy and enthusiasm to do something good, to do something right. The experience turned out to be a poignant one, there were thousands of people, police, and news cameras every where. My students assembled themselves in a semi circle atop several park benches and spread their wings in the midst of all of the chaos. I was taken by the number of people who stopped and asked the students about their wings. “They’re beautiful – good for you” one woman remarked. But what was truly amazing was the number of people who simply asked what the wings stood for, what were they all about? “In 1998 there was this college student named Matthew Shepard…”
The students would explain. And I was astonished to hear student after student tell Matthew’s story over and over again.

As I stood in the middle of the Boston Common and watched my students it became so clear that we had all learned something from doing The Laramie Project and we had all learned something from your visit and from listening to your story. Matthew has touched all of us and we carried a little piece of him away with us.

I am extremely proud of my students and for the experience that we have all shared together. I think that if you had been on Boston Common with us that day, you would have been equally as proud.

And suddenly it's not such a horrible day, just a long one, with many lessons.

Monday, March 22, 2004

Back at it again

Today was the first day back after Spring Break. Even though I was here for most of Break, today was like coming back from a long vacation. Last week was pretty slow at work, and I was able to catch up on a lot. I did get everything caught up today, and had a chance to update the Spectrum website. I added some new announcements and a java chat room. Woohoo! I'm hoping people will start using the site as a way to communicate and stay connected. At any rate, I got some more work done on the site, and that makes me happy. It's even done in a nice pastel motif for Spring. I'm liking it now, but I'll also be happy when I can change it out and go to more newsletter-y color schemes.

No real profound thought for the day. I had a nice lunch with Mandy. I had a long meeting after work, but it was a decent meeting about important issues (moving forward on action items regarding multicultural student issues). I'm watching "A Might Wind," a fabulous mockumentary by the same folks as "Best in Show." And it is good. So thus endeth my thoughts for the day.

Sunday, March 21, 2004


What a great weekend! DQB was so much fun! It was so nice to see "the girls" again. We had a lot of fun, and I can't wait until Bingo here for Aids Walk. I wish I could have spent more time with Joe, but once again it was not meant to be. The debate tournament was also good. I sat through some painful rounds, but also saw some good ones. I'm annoyed that we didn't get paid and feel almost misled, but I'm not sure there was intentional deception. It could have just been a misunderstanding, and I want to give the benefit of the doubt. When it comes down to it, I would have probably still judged the tournament even knowing we weren't getting paid for it. I would have been a little less likely to cowtow to what seemed like some pretty forceful demands.

We did meet some new friends, though. Not only did I get to see some friends from my past, we also met some other judges. Levi and Pam live in Powell, and we had a good time sharing stories about the horrible butchering of the Englsh language we witnessed. Even talented and gifted speakers can stumble over words, and high school students at a tournament are no exception. The tournament ended late enough that they couldn't start back to Powell, so they spent another night in town. We all went bowling, and then came back to my house for cocktails and to decorate Ostara Eggs. Drew ended up doing the decorating, as the rest of us enjoyed martinis and the like. It was a good night, but meant a LATE night.

I woke up today as the boys complained they needed to be let outside. It was a beautiful day, so I left them for a while and went back to sleep. I needed a few more hours, and as I had no major plans for the day I felt quite justified in trying to replenish some energy. When I got back up it was still gorgeous outside, so I opened doors and windows to air out the house. Breakfast for the boys, brunch for me, and food for Dora. She's been happily sitting in her cage singing to the birds in the trees out in the backyard. Spring has most assuredly sprung, and it is good.

I am reminded of what the beginning of Spring is all about. A time of re-awakening, new energy, and rebirth. The potential energy of life beginning to stir once again, peeking through from deep within the trees and underneath the snow. Greens and pinks and yellows start to show against backdrops of grey and white as the circle begins anew. It's the way I feel about my life now - starting fresh and waking up. Both mentally and physically.

And Abra's back too! I hope her trip was good, and that she's not too scarred. ;) Do I really have to go back to work tomorrow?

Thursday, March 18, 2004


Thought for the day, from one of my favorite comics of ALL time: "You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocketship underpants don't help.” - Calvin

Pardon my musical moment as I sing "I'm so excited...and I just can't hide it..." You didn't know you were getting a soundtrack this morning, did you? Well, ha! Though I got to bed pretty late last night, I'm energetic and bubbly this morning (Bubbles!). I get to go to Drag Queen Bingo tonight to promote AIDS Walk, and I can't wait. Road trips are always fun, especially when there are liquored up drag queens at the end of the road. How can we go wrong?

Why did I get to bed so late, you ask? Well, I will tell you, not-so-gentle readers. Last night was a night of cinema at Casa-de-homo. I finished watching "Mask", a touching story starring my favorite diva - Oh My Cher! Then I watched "Star Trek: Nemesis" to get in touch with my geek roots. Then, to finish off my St. Patty's film fest, I watch "Bowling for Columbine." Now I had heard great things about the film, and had been looking forward to seeing it for some time. "And it was not good. But it was GREAT." I wanted to turn the tube off and go downstairs to pack at a reasonable hour so that I might get some rest last night. But alas, I was thwarted with quality programming that sucked me in. It had humor, a Matt Stone cartoon, and Charlton Heston looking like the booger-eating moron he really is. What's not to like?!

But seriously folks...did I mention I get to go to DQB tonight? (Sounds like of like I'm going out for twisted ice cream when I type it like that.) And so I give you all a mission. Go forth unto the great (all-too) white world and find some kind of silly fun today. Be radical, be radiant, but above all FAB-u-lous. And thus spake the Empress.

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

Mabel, Get My Gun

Read this article, and then my rant. Fair warning, I intend to give the Rev. Furious a run for his money.

What in the hell are thinking? Of all the pea-picking, hair-brained, inbred ideas! I really did think I lived in a country where no government agency would take bigotry so far they would actually try to ban people from living in a certain place because "we don't like you." Crimes against nature?! I'm trying very hard to resist making comments about there being nothing natural about Tennessee. Since Joanna lives there, I SHOULD be nice, but these ass clowns make that VERY difficult. I would really like to believe that some judicial body would strike that down before it picked up any more steam. I can expect judicial bodies to ban same-sex marriage. Or even civil unions. I can almost come close to understanding their logic. But this is so backward and uneducated I'm truly shocked...mixed with a healthy batch of outrage and indignation. Imagine trying to pass a law saying "you can't live here because you're black." Or (for the benefit of the "it's different because it's a choice" crowd) Jewish. That's right, kiddies. Religion is a choice and yet is protected. How's that for a thought the Conservative Christian fundamentalists have conveniently ignored. (Read more about that should my response to the Letter to the Editor in the Branding Iron get published.) I'm sorry, but it takes a special kind of stupid to think this kind of legislation is legal, ethical, OR moral. It takes a real tool to even consider writing it.

Was I the only one hearing banjo music in the background as I read the article? P-sycho, I tell you. I plan to print this article and simply point to it the next time someone asks me if I REALLY think there is still discrimination against GLBT people. Or the next time someone tells me I'm asking for "special" rights. I suppose this is the next logical (and I use that term loosely) extension of an already WEAK argument against same-sex marriages and GLBT rights in general. Kind of like Fred Phelps (view this link at your own peril - it's RANK shit)is the next logical extension of the "love the sinner, hate the sin" doctrine.

Part of me realizes that arguments/statements like this idiocy in TN only serves to prove a point, and can do more good than harm. It points out just how paranoid people can become. But another part of me still has that visceral, fight-or-flight response. Guess which urge is usually stronger in me? I no longer fear this type of bigotry. This brand of hate-monger. I even find them somewhat comical. Sometimes I also want to grab a big fucking stick, though. I know it's not the earth-honoring, shamanic, pagan, or zen way to react - and I'm usually much more pacifist in my responses. Not today, though. Today I want to don a pair of overalls (only), spit my chaw on the dusty front porch, and say, "Mabel...git my gun. I'm agonna fix this."

Nap Time is Over

So I didn't make it into the hot tub last night. *sigh* I did, however have a nice quite evening at home and got to bed at a reasonable hour. I watched some of my favorite TV shows while working on an arts and crafts project. I just pulled up on the floor and went to work, puppies racing and chasing around me all the while. "And it was good." I only checked my email once last night, which as my friends can attest, is a testament to will power and an aversion to the office. I feel much more rested and coherent today. Not scattered like yesterday.

Tonight is reserved for another night at home, this time packing. Tomorrow it's off to Denver for Drag Queen Bingo. A group of us are promoting Wyo Aids Walk there, and I'm looking forward to it. These are the same queens who come up to Laramie for Bingo at WAW, and they are a scream! They've reserved a table for 13 for us...right down front and center. We know we're going to be targets for their humor, but that's all just part of the fun. We're staying at my friend Joe's apartment (if I can ever get in touch with him to get the key), so it'll be a nice cheap weekend. Woohoo! Then we're coming back up north to judge a national qualifying speech tournament Friday and Saturday.

I'm also reminded that this is a powerful time for new beginnings, as the Equinox is this weekend. I'm very excited about it, and hope there is FABOO weather so that I might enjoy it outside. I know my life is once again on the edge of a fresh start. A new challenge. The next step, if you will. I've been building up energy for a while, and it's time to put that to use now. As the weather improves (slowly but surely) I'm spending more time outside, which is happy for so many reasons. It means more activity, which will hopefully let me shed my "winter body." It also means more time in nature, which is only helping to waken my senses and reconnect me with the powers that be. I'm feeling life start to waken from its snow-induced nap, and know I'm about to do the same. I'm itching to ride my bike, get some roller skates, and hit the greenbelt on a regular basis. Woohoo!

Tuesday, March 16, 2004


How frustrating! Yesterday a thought ran through my head. It was a quote, and I knew I had to blog about it. Naturally the thought and the quote are long gone now, so I'll have to do this all on my own. Harumpf. I'm very sleepy today, even more so than yesterday. Last night the blog cult (at least the members in town) went for dinner at a newish restaurant in town. The food was good, but seemed overpriced. The service was excellent, as we were the only people in the night can do that to you when you haven't yet advertised your opening. We then went back to my place for the latest installment of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy - a first for the Fiber Monkey. "And it was good." I do hope my cohorts in crime are sleepy today as well, though Kilty McFurious (I'm tired enough to create strange names!) should wait till later to be sleepy, as he's playing with chain saws today. I just want to curl up in a ball under my desk and nap for a bit. *sigh*

I feel rather disconnected and scattered today. I had such a good weekend and was so open and in tune. I think my brain hasn't slowed down, but my attunement tripped and did a face plant somewhere along the line. I think tonight shall be reserved for a quiet evening at home and going to bed early. Perhaps a dip in the hot tub first...

This weekend proves to be regenerative as well. Drag queen bingo in Denver Thursday night and a speech tournament Friday and Saturday. It's the national qualifier, so it SHOULD be full of decent competitors with at least a smidge of talent. Much more interesting than judging a novice tournament.

I'll try to write more later if I'm more coherent and linear.

Sunday, March 14, 2004

Feeling the wind

What an incredible weekend! Abe and I headed down south and checked into the hotel. After debating what to do about dinner, it was off to India House in LoDo. Tandoori, nan, was all excellent. And it was nice to have a grown up dinner with a good friend too. We had a great conversation and caught up on all the news and info we'd been missing. It's hell when your schedules don't let you spend time with a good friend! Back to the hotel for a bottle of Riesling, and it was a very successful day! We got up the next morning for breakfast and then off to Fort Collins for an oil change. PetsMart, lunch at Olive Garden, D&G Pet Store on the way out of town, and the outlet malls on the way back to Denver. I love a little retail therapy!

Some of you are familiar with my "60 degree theory." You know...when the temperature outside reaches 60 degrees, gay men go into heat. It's true! Of course, it could have something to do with the fact that all the guys start taking off clothing when it gets warm. No, Linus, kilts don't count. ;) Sorry bud. At any rate, Abe and I discovered another side effect of warm weather. BABIES. Small children too! They were everywhere at Olive Garden. Abe had a difficult time not going into convulsions, but handled herself admirably. She re-avowed that she was born without a biological clock and that taking care of her bird Dora was more than enough parenting, thank-you-very-much. I, on the other hand, kind of enjoyed seeing all the little bundles of joy running (and screaming) around.

No, I'm not running out to find a surrogate. I'm happy being the father of two bouncing baby dachshunds! Watching all the kids reminded me of the youthful joy and enthusiasm we all used to take in simple, ordinary things. Kids can take such pleasure in anything and everything! I'm not certain when or why we lose this ability, but I want it back! Abe and I did make a valiant effort this weekend, though. We (re)discovered the magic of wind. In our hair, buzzing about the inside of the car, reminding us it was a beautiful day outside. We drove a LOT of the weekend with the sun roof open, occasionally even opening the windows too. The open air felt so good, and even if tinged with a hint of Denver's finest smog, it was refreshing to say the least. During the day the sun warmed us. At night, the moon bathed us in soft velvet.

Yup...everything happens for a reason. We didn't get into a rush about anything, something I haven't been able to say for a long time. We didn't stress over what was next, what time it was, or what we had forgotten. We just talked, spent time together, and enjoyed each other's company. Does it get any better than that? I hope I can take more time do things like that...often and soon.

Friday, March 12, 2004


Apparently I should have an internet outtage at home more often. As I awaited the arrival of the Bresnan tech this morning, I started housework. I wouldn't want my puppysitter for the weekend to stay in a dirty house, now would I? Vacuuming, laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, changing bedding, de-furring the name it, I did it. I've been wanting to get a lot of it done for some time, but didn't have the energy or motivation. I'm not sure what was blocking it, but it's gone this morning. I've already done 4600 steps this morning (yes...I've been wearing a step counter lately), more than the total I usally rack up all day long. The last 3 days I've been doing more walking, more moving, and I feel much better! Maybe it's spring. Maybe iI'm being more receptive to the universe. Maybe it's just time!

I'm definitely looking forward to the weekend. I'm getting out of town with a good friend and I have nothing specific to do except an oil change Saturday at one in Ft. Collins. Oh yeah...and getting Abe to the airport on time Sunday morning (at 4am)! I am so going back to sleep after she's delivered. ;) As long as I don't spend TOO much money this weekend, it's going to be a very good thing. Much needed and very regenerative, I think. I won't be writing anything for the next 2 days, but as Linus said, my blog is still new and people aren't yet addicted. Hope y'all have a good weekend!

Thursday, March 11, 2004

On Germans and Fluidity

It's afternoon and, as promised, I'm looking for a way to avoid doing anything productive at work. Why is it that I find no motivation the last few weeks? I wonder if it's Spring Fever, since the weather is now toying with us. Lulling us into a false sense of security before a mountain of snow, wind, and ice roar over the top of us.

I went down to the Herb House before "lunch" today. Driving with the window down and the sunroof open reminded me of why I love the natural world so much. The sun was warm and I was filled with a not-so-hidden smile as I listened to the last few tracks of my new Christina Aguilera CD. I've never listened to her music before, but after Rod showed me her video for "Beautiful," I became intrigued. I bought her latest CD and must admit, it does not contain what I expected. Most of the tracks have messages like "Beautiful." Defiance. Refusal to subvert identity for the sake of others...or popularity. Being proud of one's self. And unlike Ms. Spears, she actually has vocal talent.

I enjoyed my time at the Herb House. While looking for natural ways to regain my voice, I visited with the owner. I regret that I never asked her name, but somehow names didn't seem as important as our conversation. I recognized her accent as German, which impressed her. She's originally from Frankfurt, and we spoke for a while about the differences between Germany and the States. I told her of my trip to Holland and Germany, and about my struggle to bring my German back up to snuff. She radiated selfless warmth and kindness. It was a refreshing change from the German woman I met last weekend. It's nice when the universe reminds us there are great souls living on our planet, and that we can connect with each other once in a while.

I admit to frustration this morning when Abe told me about the confusion in travel dates. I went into "Get it done" mode to book rooms and find puppy sitters, fretting and stressing (you're not the only who does that well, dearie). The more I've thought about it today, the better life seems. In explaining it to Fish, I reminded myself that all things happen for a reason. She wisely chided me: "This is a reward because you don't get a Spring Break." So I guess I owe Abe and her mom a thank you. Turns out the "confusion" and "inconvenience" will lead to good things. I've been so on-the-go lately that I haven't taken much time for myself. To relax. To breathe. To revel in nature and tranquility. To commune with Spirit. I realize now that this is supposed to happen so that I take a moment to pause. This is part of the positive change my horoscope was talking about. I just have to learn to accept it with more grace and fluidity.

Locutus of Blog

I told Mandy, Abra, Linus, and Aubree last night that I would not be assimilated. I would not join the blog cult! Who was I kidding?! A chance to rant, rave, wax poetic, and otherwise shoot my mouth off? It's SO me. ;) Does that mean I'm Locutus of Blog? So here I am. For any random person stumbling across my blog, here's a description (the rest of you know me too well anyway): I'm 6'4" and too many pounds. I'm racing towards the ripe old age of 29, and as 30 is screaming at me from around the corner, I'm not too happy about it. Being terminally single doesn't help matters, of course. But I have my two puppies, Reese and Turbo (mini dachshunds) and a fish tank. No, it's not a relationship, but they're happy things! And I dare you to find a date in Laramie, Wyoming as a gay man when the only two men you've truly, passionately loved were not in a place where a relationship would work. One was straight and the other was already taken...see're not the only ones with that problem. I work at the University of Wyoming as a professional computer geek, but stick around because I get to be a very involved GLBT activist in a place that's short on them. And I have cool friends, so there's that plus too. I bought a house 3 years ago, a new car 3 months ago, and a new life 9 years ago (when I came out, sillies!).

And now for a thought pattern for the day. Hmmm...My horoscope says March/April is supposed to be a time of great (positive) change. Supposedly, my love life will take off this weekend. Sheeyah. Right. Unless Abra and I "find me a man" this weekend when I take her to the airport. As much as I wish it weren't true, I'm still smarting a bit from my last great love. While I can't seem to say that out loud to my friends, apparently I can write it here, even knowing some of them will be reading it. Damn you, blog-cult-starting, Oompah-Loompah-sized, fabulous-house-girl NerdyGirl! So heart's still broken *must not cry while blogging at work* - a little bit. Not hearing from him makes it both better and worse, I suppose. Distance and separation should mean I can "get over" him more easily, right? But at the same time not talking to him or hearing from him makes me doubt myself...makes me think he doesn't want to talk to me. Because I didn't mean that much to him (Shuddup Abe and Mandy...I know...that's not the case, but try telling my heart that). Or because I'm not worth talking to (I say again...shuddup.) I didn't say it was all rational or based in fact, but it doesn't make the emotion/fear any less real or any easier to shrug off.

K...that's enough for the moment. I am deciding blogs are evil. I start typing and all of a sudden I'm being honest. About myself. YUCK! Will most likely post again later. It's a slow day at work, and one must kill the time somehow. I can only play so many games of Mozaki Blocks on MSN.